Getting things off my chest and looking for opinions

I have decided to write here because my life is on the verge of ruin and I have trouble talking to anyone let alone medical professionals about this sort of stuff.

I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety. It takes me years to fully open up to people. Anyone new I meet can walk all over me because my anxiety stops me from being able to express myself and I just do whatever I can to keep others happy no matter the personal cost to myself.

The males on my fathers side are a long list of bipolar sufferers so I'm concerned I may be bipolar too but I'm not sure, I could have something completely different.

I have intermittent sleeping problems, sometimes I'm fine and sometimes I'll get as little as 15 - 20 hours in a week.

I have bad problems with memory. I have been known to forget how to spell my name or what my birthdate is. Sometimes I forget what I'm saying mid sentence or repeat things to people many times not knowing I have already told them. I forget to tell people things even minutes after thinking to tell them. I have even had times I have been driving and forgotten where I am and where I'm going for several minutes.

I suffer from cognitive problems where it's like my brain doesn't work anymore. Its severity varies from day to day. Some days I'm at 100% and I'm like a computer, I am smart enough to have done university level maths in high school and came top of the school for the school certificate (which was a while ago as I'm now 29), and then there are days I take 10 minutes to calculate simple things like, for example, 128 + 37 and i'll still get the wrong answer.

The anxiety, memory and cognitive problems have stopped me from holding any job in the last 8 years for more than 6 months which has ruined my employability in the eyes of employers and can no longer find employment.

I get audible hallucinations. Sometimes not for months, sometimes every day, usually when I'm zoned out and not concentrating on anything. They used to be of an aggressive guy and a placid girl saying they were going to get me. That was years ago. These days I either get babies crying and screaming or I get a massively crowded room with hundreds of people talking to each other.

It's rare but when I'm tired I have been known to have visual hallucinations, for example, one morning on the way to work I had to stop in the middle of the road while a semi trailer truck slowly pulled out of a driveway only to have the truck dissolve out of existence once it had pulled all the way onto the road.

I get delusions, usually of being the best at something I've just started or being better than everyone around me at whatever we are doing. Sometimes they have been bigger like believing people are out to get me or designing my own reality.

I do things I don't want to knowing I'll regret it and that I don't want to do it but it's like I cant help myself.

My sexual appetite comes and goes and has only two modes. I either want sex constantly or don't want it at all. These modes can last days to months.

I also get extreme bouts of rage and irritability where I feel like I might beat someone to death. Even the smallest, most insignificant things can set me off when affected by the rage. I'm not a violent person but as I get older it's getting harder to keep any control during these bouts of rage and I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone someday.

I know no one can diagnose me here but if anyone could let me know what they think I have, whether it's one thing or a combination, and where would be a good place to seek help please let me know.

All these problems are scaring the hell out of me.