Advice requested - Different personalities wanting different things

Hi @Multiplicity

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Hello @Multiplicity,

I have DID too and I also have alters that dont trust my partner for different reasons but the distrust is hard still the same. I suppose the action you take depends on the alters age but my partner has learnt the easiet thing to do is to give space to those alters when they are present. I have a little who just doesnt like males at all she scream when males are near, while it has taken some time we have now got her into the routine of going to the bedroom with her "safe teddy" and doing an activity like colouring or playing the ds. my middles/teens all have their own things they do some trust him others dont but they dont make a big fuss they just keep to themselves. I only have one adult alter that doesnt trust my partner and to be honest i have know idea why but when i was seeing a psych they did talk with this particular alter and came up with suggestions/startegies that both my partner and alter could use to help keep the peace.

dont know if this helps you at all because everyone is different but i am always happy to talk.

@Multiplicity this is what I think might be happening to you, you do not have to accept my thinking or suggestion. To me it sounds like maybe you moved past it but fragmented parts or more complete personalities haven't. It's like being on a train with other passengers and a crash happens, everyone is going to have different injuries, different degrees of trauma, they will experience the event differently. The secobd part of this is that alters that become persecutory tend to be trying to protect you from further harm, so in a strange way, they are being caring and protective. My suggestion is that you work with your therapist and partner in allowing these parts to express their thoughts and feelings and to heal like you did. My other suggestion is that you might try and express appreciation and affection towards them and reassure them that it's now safe, they can trust that the betrayal won't happen again. Goodluck.

thanks for the reply. It was nice to be able to read advice on this matter from someone who has lived experience. It has given me hope that I can resolve this and move forward. The feeling of being out of control of this matter has be especially rattled.

the feelings are so polar opposite and just change at the drop of a hat. I'm hoping to work through it with my therpist but I cant get in to see her for a few weeks. I wish I could appreciate her for trying to protect me, but it causing so much person to someone I love dearly. I just need them to quiet down a little, even for a few days. I feel as though I;m in a constant state of fight and flight and have been for a week. Its like living a horror show.

Thanks again for your advice, I will be sure to take it onboard.

Thank you so much for responding. It's actually really nice to hear that others have problems like this and have survived.

Everything feels so hard right now. I feel like the alter that doesnt trust them is fronting ALL THE TIME since she asked for some space. Every now and then the rational one returns and I have some respite, but as quick as I feel ok with what is happening, the irrational one returns to remind me that my world is on fire.

My partner has just asked for some time to work on themselves but assures me they still love me. I know this, but cant stop the irrational one from fronting.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it.