I have a mental health problem.

...there, I said it. My counsellor, gp and even friends have been telling me that I am grieving, that I am depressed, that I am experiencing cptsd, dissociation, etc. However, I don't think it ever really sunk in...I'm high functioning, people are depending on me, I do what is necessary and I do it efficiently, etc. I couldn't understand why people told me to be kind to myself, that they cared, that I had been through a lot...to me, I was fine, eventhough I was suicidal. Yesterday, my counsellor was telling me that she thought that maybe she needed to get me to a hospital...my reply, no, I have to go home to cook! That's what opened my eyes...I'm not allowed to collapse, to be sick, to fail, to be human. I'm not sure what all this means, but I think I need to say, I am not ok, that I am suffering, that I am going through mental health issues, that I need the help of others...this is not normal, this is not me, it's an illness. I don't need to apologise for being sick. I need to get out for awhile...my head feels like it's going to explode.