Hello @meraki
I am glad to know your partner's parents are learning slowly. I think one of the best things a person with a severe mental illness can have is a good support network. It would also help you share the burden and be able to talk about the situation with people close to you. Do you have friends you can talk to? In my case, I do not have family here. I moved here in 2015 as a student and my husband's family is my family and support network here.
So the number they gave you, is it a Mental Health Triage number? We got that number from the hospital my husband was discharged from. We also got a contact number for the Case manager with weekly appointments. I am so sorry to hear that you were unable to access help when you needed it the most, but I am really not that surprised.
My husband started getting worse with his psychotic episodes (he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in 2010 (before I met him in 2015) , and last July he stopped his medications and started having psychosis/delusions from October. We (my mum in law and I) actually drove him to the ER in November. It was Melbourne Cup day and we basically waited 4 HOURS in the ER waiting room, while my husband was in psychosis. A psychiatrist then came out to talk to us and all he did was talk!!! Like, he could see how urgently he needs help, but all he did was just talked to us and offered a sedative. All this waiting and talking just made my husband worse and more agitated. I remember myself having a crying breakdown afterwards, because of how exhausted I was.
Just a few days after this, my husband had to be hospitalised via a treatment order from his GP as he completely collapsed at his GP office and I passed her notes asking her to PLEASE CALL AN AMBULANCE! 2 weeks later at the acute inpatient ward they discharged him, and he was basically readmitted back after having a relapse after a week. Overall he had been in hospital for a month from Nov- Dec last year.
The Medical system here really did fail my husband by not hospitalising him when we took him to the ER. I still have horrible nightmares about when my husband was psychotic and how he behaved around me. I am also so angry to hear that the hospital suggested for you to stay the night to help take care of him? That is just ABSURD. I really do think you need to go to a different hospital.
For ongoing care, you really need a psychiatrist who can prescribe the right medication for your husband. A psychologist is also important, but for your partner to be on the way to stability, he needs to be taking the right meds. Is your partner on medication now? A private psychiatrist can be expensive but you usually get a medicare rebate back, and if you reach the medicare safety net (like my husband did), you can get like 80% of the cost back. I remember we were out of pocket only $30 during our last visits to the private psychiatrist.
So, my husband has been suffering with this condition from 2010. I met him in 2016 and it was been quite a journey. I love him with all my heart and he is a genuinely kind hearted and beautiful man. He has been a huge source of support to me when I had difficulties and I will always be there for him no matter what. That said, it is so hard when he is distrustful of me. When he was really unwell, he thought I am trying to harm him by calling an ambulance/his case manager, how my history of abuse (since I was a child) is why I cannot handle him and have to resort to psychiatrists to take care of him, how he is going to divorce me over this. It really broke my heart, especially him using things I told him in confidence (childhood abuse) against me. I really had to strengthen myself and get him the help regardless, because for me his health matters over everything else, even our marriage.
In regards to giving space, is your partner asking you to give him space? Social isolation is very common in acute phrases of schizophrenia (even in latter phrases, but not as much). My husband never really asks me for space, especially when he is feeling unwell, and I dont think giving him space and waiting it out really helps. That is what we did since July last year when he stopped his medications, and it was basically a ticking bomb until November when all his symptoms basically exploded.
Making theories is also common. My husband always tries to rationalize why he's doing what he is doing, which will make no logical sense but to him it does. Its called anosognosia (lack of insight). Its a symptom of schizophrenia and is usually the hardest one to manage (in my experience).
I am so so sorry for what you are going through. I would really look into getting your partner medicated if he's not already. If you dont have a psychiatrist yet, please try to access one now. I believe its very difficult with public psychiatrists (you can access them through continuing care I believe after discharge) or else a private psychiatrist who can monitor your husband and prescribe meds to him.
Let me know how you go, or when you need someone to talk to. I hope this helps a bit 🙂
