Workplace sexual harassment

This is unpleasant @BlueBay and you do need to prepare yourself

You have a history of freezing so keep telling yourself this time you won't

Keep your phone with you the whole time

Keep our of any place he could get to you

If he does threaten you in any way move quickly to the toilet or into the street and ring the police on 000

Or you could refuse to go to work on Monday and tell your employers that this man has been harrassing you and other female staff members

It's important to deal with issues like this too stop or discourage this kind of power play

And your friend needs to document what has happened to her as well

This is unpleasant and necessary for it to be brought onto the open

Dec

Hi @Owlunar @eth @Maggie @Shaz51 @MDT @Gazza75

I saw my friend this mirning and told her she shoukd document it I spoke to my doctor just before and was angry at his comment. He said you can't predict what will happen l. Let's wait and see.
I wanted him to be more caring and supportive. Like - pls get in touch eith me if anything happens.

i swear if he touches me I will go straight to my dictir snd tske stress leave. I will not go bsvk until that guy goes. The thing is it's triggering me.
I can't have that in my workplace.
there is a clear boundary and he clearly stepped over it by doing what he did to my friend. I'm sorry I can't write what he did the moderators took it down.
And I found out this morning thst he touched the other girls leg yesterday when I left. I haven't spoken to her yet. Why? What is wrong with this creeps. And I also found out that he doesn't have a marriage.
ok I'm going to try not worry but I'm going to be very cautious on Monday. I have to go in as there is no one else to do the shift.

Hi @BlueBay

I could have said "wait and see what happens" too but I know better - sometimes it's really tricky because we need to be prepared in some situations and if you weren't prepared when you are aware of a problem then that's going to possibly lead to a comment like "You should have known better"

But in this case you are aware but still can't do anything but wait and see and goodonyer for going to work anyway - that's really positive

I will have you in mind all day

Dec

Hi there @BlueBay,

You could write a formal complaint and hand it to the supervisor or senior manager and if he's all three then you can contact the police and have him charged with indecent assault and act to casue bodily harm. All are serious allegations and he would be prompted to step-down from his position or worse case serve jail time. Thanks

Hello @BlueBay

Just checking in to see how you are going. I can see how anxious you are feeling and I am sure I would be feeling the same way if I was in your position. I am wondering if you have your phone set to record any interactions while you are at work it might help you to feel more powerful, as though if he does something you would be able to take some action.

I also think it would be useful for you to write a timeline of events with your collegues to help you to get some clarity around the previous incidents.

After this you might feel comfortable to report this persons behaviours. Just see how you go and take it easy on yourself.

Important to use some of your calming strategies right now and go slow.

Take care,

MummaMia

I'm starting to get nervous again @MummaMia

i have no choice but go to work.
i am so scared.

There's no need to be scared @BlueBay and it's better if you are alert rather than nervous because then you can be at your best

But you do have a choice about working on Monday - take a step back and have a think - let's look at it

You need the cash of course

And you have a commitment to work

But this is a threatening situation for any woman but harder for you because of your past

So - here's your choice

1. You can stay home and fret and miss the money you need at this time of year

2. Or you can gather your strengths and keep your phone on record all the time you are at work

3. and be ready to move away -

4. move out -

5. or ring the police -

6. or walk around to your clinic

So - calm your fears - and think - there have been times when I have found myself in a dangerous situation and I have had no warning - my faher was a policeman and one thing I was prepared for was exactly such a situation and got out scot free when men were sometimes inappropriate

You will be fine if you keep your cool and I am not saying it's easy - it's not and I know

But you do have the choice - and seeing that will give you the power

All the best

Dec

Hello @BlueBay

I can hear how scared you are. I am also aware that being scared is not good for you in the longer term and it is important to try and think clearly. It might be a good idea for you to try and do some other things to help you to stop and find a way to relax and think a bit more. Even if its just some breathing.

I think Dec is making some really useful points and you know your friends are here for you.

If you decide to go to work on Monday it will be important to take is slowly, take breaks, eat and sleep. All you basic self care stuff, so you will be at your best emotionally and mentally to face the situation.

How do you feel about calling the police if you need to?

Take care, MummaMia

I'm really not sure if I can call the police. I think if something happened I would go straight to my doctor and report it to him.
I know it will trigger me with my past abuse.
I will think this through.
look he might not do anything to me

but at least I have a plan

but yes I'm scared @MummaMia