take a good look at yourself and stop making excuses

@Sweet_cheeks Hey Sweet_cheeks always great to hear from you :). Sorry that things are super tough going for you though :(. What happened to you during and after pregnancy was out of your hands. Not your fault at all.

I got very ill at 9 weeks with a virus and I am sure that contributed to son2's mi but I didnt deliberately get ill it was in the lap of the gods so to speak. Son2 has autism and diagnosed before 3, then had epilepsy and I believe childhood schizophrenia with mild intellectual delay. It was not we had done it is just where the cards fell and I would guarantee the same goes for you.

Genetics I believe plays alot in this but of course environment can also exacerate the mi. I am definitely not discounting that for one second. I am just saying that you appear to be a caring, kindly parent who is just trying to do their best for her child. I know it is so hard but dont listen to thoughtless comments like that of your sister (what a thing to say :o!). People can be so stupid sometimes. There is a saying that I like 'If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all' so true.

Dont be afraid just take one day at a time and remember what a wonderful parent you are and what a great job you are doing :).

I am okay getting by you know I think you know exactly what I mean lol. It can be tough at times but then there are those glimmers of hope :). Take care hun and keep in touch xxx Love always peaxxxxx

@Bunniekins you are right. There are glimmers of hope. Having a family is great. Thanks for talking to me.xxx sweetpea

@Bunniekins by the way having an autistic son with childhood schizophrenia would drive anyone mad and must be outstandingly awful for you since you also have schizo effective disorder. I hope you get support. I couldn't handle it myself. Especially a little kid who can't verbalise. Wow I don't know how you do it and you have other kids with mental illness too. I fear my boy is schizophrenic and that is the ultimate mental illness. How do you manage it. I'm not quite sure what schizo effective is. Does it involve paranoia and thinking people are following you and noises like cars are evil voices. I've only had one session with the doctor so we don't know what the deal is yet. I guess people can lead normal lives on meds lol relatively normal.

@Sweet_cheeks Hey Sweet_cheeks. Schizoaffective disorder is like schizophrenia with a mood disorder like bipolar. I get the evil voices etc but also the highs and lows of mania of bipolar I. Personally I think schizophrenia is the worst out of the two. My son2 used to see monsters in his room and eyes watching him etc when he was around 5 He could talk so could tell me when he would hear chitter chatter in his head around the same time but it was all so hard to diagnose because of his epilepsy .... anyway that is all in the past. He didnt get properly diagnosed with a psychosis until he was 16 and then later schizophrenia. I try not to think too much about the teenage years as it was such an awful violent time for all of us when he was so ill.

The meds help alot for both of us although sometimes we both get whispering voices..... Personally I dont think you ever get over having these disorders imho. For me anyway it has stuffed up my head .... as for my son he is doing better these days but will always require help.

Good luck with the doctors am thinking of you and wishing you well. Let me know how it all goes. Love peaxx