Being my Own Best Friend

I have been thinking of writing something like this and today Dr Phil used this very phrase and I thought - Follow the Day and start the thread

I started thinking about this more after I saw my new pschologist last week. She told me I had a great insight into my life and what I do and that I am also very resilient. I saw my doctor on Friday and told him this and asked him how resilience developed and he told me

I have had a lot of challenges in life - eg - my mother, my son, chronic pain and more - overcoming these thing over time actually builds strength. We might feel overwhelmed at the time but just living with a purpose of getting through builds on that strength - I guess it starts in childhood

We are all very challenged in childhood. Dependent. Small. We start from very helpless. What a vulnerable state - luckily we don't remember much. I do remember wondering why my parents wanted me when I couldn't seem to please them and often I didn't know what I had done to displease them - this was in early childhood when I had no concept of how life worked and I was puzzled a lot of the time

It seemed - as I grew up - no one cared what I wanted - I didn't have a voice - but I did work out what I wanted and grew a voice and when my children learned how to voice their ideas etc - I took them seriously - I listened to them and let them know it. They didn't get their way all the time of course but they knew I cared about what they thought

So something made me learned to be my best friend - something told me I was worthwhile - it might have been my grandparetns. My mother put me down or tried to - for the rest of her life - I don't blame her for anything - and my father was a very strict though caring man - I learned to have a similar attitude and when I made my own choices - somethings were okay but changing my name - that didn't go well but by then - I'd had enough to not need my parents' permission for any-thing!

Okay - I learned to be my own best friend - my advocate - my confidante - and at the moment I really need those traits because the preparation and waiting for a new pain specialist is stressful but I am dealing with it - I am sure it will be a good team with my GP and psychologist

But how do we learn? - I have posted a few things - maybe overcoming a tough life is part of it - how did you manage it? Do you want to know how?

Dec

@Zoe7 @eth @Maggie @Adge @TAB @Shaz51 @outlander @Former-Member @Gazza75

@MDT @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Angels333 @utopia @saturnzoon

@Molliex @Teej @Razzle @Meowmy @BPDSurvivor @Queenie @Sophia1

Goll-ee - I have never tagged so many people at once before - I am stopping before I stuff myself up and lose what I have done already - everyone is welcome to add their voice of course