Eating disorder and more - need a shoulder ......

Not bound by law @Corny .... no safety net. That's what I am fighting for. Reason is vindictiveness, because he is a narc, and he thinks he can.

I am not a walk-over. I called in the lawyers when he tried to tell me how I would live under his control and without my children as his ex, while the new gf lived my life in front of our whole community, in my home, with my children and hers, he thought .... all part of the devaluation .....

So what does that make 'her' ? Shameless, that's what. It's beyond callous.

And he has created financial boobytraps that I am having to work out and undo along the way. Big mess, but that's what they're known for, as you know.

That's so humiliating @Faith-and-Hope him parading his new GF in front of everyone you've known for all these years.

But you know what. He has completely underestimated you! Sucked in a-hole. As you say you are no push over. You call it ‘devaluation’, I call it misogyny. Just because he has another bird on his arm doesn’t mean that he doesn’t devalue and look down on women, she is an accessory. Look at the contempt with which he treats you! Underneath all the freshness of this new squeeze, he doesn’t respect her either, he isn’t capable of it. Does he think that you are some sort of 1950s house maid, put on this earth to service him and then go downstairs and cook his dinner. Ha! Little does he know of the fire that you possess and will unleash. Fire!

I am not surprised about the $$$ booby traps. He knows he has no power over you anymore except financially. My father was the same when my sibs and I consecutively moved out of home…..he used money to keep control of us, we didn’t qualify for benefits back then, in that policy era, so it worked. I dropped out of education again and again, just to take up a crummy job and be free of his threats, his violence and him ripping the carpet out from underneath me and me not being able to pay my rent. I have never felt so good being able to cover all my bills on my own. I get so sad I can’t anymore. ScoMo is my father’s ghost now. Well, if my father couldn’t wipe me off this earth & get away with it, he at least disabled me enough to make me a dependent and the flogging post of talk back radio.

You will survive and get through this Faith! Your ex knows it, and he can’t stand it that you don't need him. Corny

I have heard us referred to as "appliances" @Corny ..... and that's they way I see it now on his behalf ....... he has a new "appliance". Wonder if she is a toaster or a hairdryer ..... lol. I do reckon she's another one, at least high in narcissistic traits, to have been able to behave the way she has. She mistreated D2 in a way that you couldn't if you had any empathy in your heart at all, much less parading herself in front if her lover's wife and family in their own living space ...... :face_with_rolling_eyes:

I don't begrudge her. I feel sorry for her that she doesn't realise it's coming around again, for her, whether he ditches her for a new "appliance" or not ..... the misogyny is inbuilt to their relationship, and it has been long enough now that it would be activated, for sure.

Hugs n hugs @Corny ..... you are reaching beyond your father's reach by supporting others and exposing their ways to the unknowing who need to hear it. You go girrrrl ❣️ Best you're the best aunt ever ......

Oh yes most definitely @Faith-and-Hope you were an appliance, and so is the next one. Not everyone has a heart in their chest that is capable of feeling and reciprocating true love, that's what Dr K says. If he treats his children like a function, a utility, that will have life-long impacts on their development & future relationships. You feel so worthless because no one has ever shown any sincere interest in you. It's soul destroying. But with a lot of therapy you can begin to see how it impacts your present relationships and take action to extract the users and takers.

I think that your ex-husband has found himself a gold digger. To be that brazen to parade herself in front of you and the cubs, and that dismissive/patronising air towards a vulnerable young person with a disability does show signs of narcissistic traits, or at the very least a deeply selfish person.

I think it took all of my 20s to realise how many people go into relationships for anything but love.

People. Want. Money. Faithy.

They want status and money. Which is a mind-set that treats a lover as a function as you say. When I was in my 20s I fell hard for a women. She didn't want me and then one day she let it slip why.....it's because I didn't have any money, and this other person over there did. And a big house in an expensive suburb and a nice car. I felt so hurt and stupid, I was crushed. But I'd been financially abused and I'd seen the dark side of money too, so I just don't think like that. But heaps of people do. There aren't many romantics left out there......but they are not your problem anymore. If she dumps him in the future sometime for someone with even more money than him, Ha! Not your problem honey.

I do hope that I am turning around my parents damage. I hope I am a good auntie, I worry about the cubs so much, the poor things don't have great genetics behind them. But they have a wonderful Mum and Dad. In terms of temperament my sib married the antithesis to their father. They celebrated 25 years together this year.

Lockdown is starting to take its toll FaithNoMore. Sydney is the national hot spot so I have literally only seen my friends twice in 18months they work night shift in aged care so have to be really strict with the Covid measures. I hope that you are enjoying some freedoms down there in Melbourne, Corny

Every one needs a pupper in their life, even cats @Faith-and-Hope .

This is a Goldie saving you from the claws of your ex-husband.

https://twitter.com/humorandanimals/status/1418261075120828422

I hope that you can chill out this weekend @Faith-and-Hope

😏 @Corny ..... thanks ❣️That brought a smile.

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. I spoke of an energy shift I felt recently coming for you, but I mis-judged it - it was actually my own.

My Mum died suddenly today. I have seen her after she died for the last time, but my sibs are in lockdown coming to terms with this, all on our own in separate places with Covid, organising a funeral and dealing with Police and the coroner etc.

If I disappear, I just wanted to let you know that it isn't personal what so ever......I have my own grief right now.

All the best @Faith-and-Hope you're such a loving Mum, Corny

@Corny My heart goes out to you with your sudden loss. I can only imagine what you are going through right now and I know no words will help so sending you my love and support

I'm sorry to hear your sad news @Corny

Thinking of you and sending you peace.

@Corny sending you lots of tender hugs my friend

Sending you my love and support and to let you know we are here for you ❤❤❤🥰❤