@Former-Member ..... it is a fearful time for all of us sweetheart. I can hear that you are feeling overwhelmed, and the situation you are trying to find clarity over really isn't helping, especially as, like me, you would rather just be able to hold a conversation around it and find out what the person is thinking or feeling, and whether you might have said something that upset them, and how to smooth things over.
Despite what has happened now with "my" WH, there have been valuable lessons I have learnt through all the special years we had together, and how special our relationship once was ..... and it was ..... which makes all this just so much harder for me, our kids, or anyone else who knows us to understand.
One thing I did learn to appreciate is that not all people want to talk things out, especially if they are under stress or overwhelmed ..... or sometimes it's because they can't access their own emotions very well, or they grew up without learning how to communicate around emotions with the sort of language we use when we do come together to try to sort out something that feels wrong or off-key.
Where once I would have stepped up to have a let's-sort-it-out conversation, perhaps starting with, "Have I done something to upset you ?" I am now much more wary, and tend to approach things by just being polite and kind, and continuing to do things the way I do, presuming that whatever the problem is will either come to the surface, or just peeter out. Generally one or the other tends to happen, and it gets solved much more calmly with that little buffer of continuing polite conversation / behaviour in between.
It is something I am doing now with relationships that I know can't last the distance, because WH is moving his new partner into their lives, and there just isn't room for that to work with staying in a relationship with me. They will be forced to choose, and will have to choose to accept his new life being a part of theirs.
More hugs incoming @Former-Member ...,, 💐💕
