Hi @simontemplar
I hear your frustration with this process. I never feel brave or heroic with this stuff either, often the opposite.
Im not sure if it will help but I’ll share some of my beginning experiences with getting mh support.
The first person I saw was a GP to get a mental health plan. She cringed when I told her why I needed it and then cried, it wasn’t crying with me. I got the mh plan and started seeing a counsellor in a fairly well known practice. The counsellor was lovely but did not get me or help me at all. After three visits I knew it was not the right match. I had not long left uni and I managed to get into a uni counsellor to ask about how to get a counsellor. I clicked with her straight away and then asked her if she could take me on as a private patient but she said her books were full. She recommended someone she knew who had just started her own business. She was great and supportive and didn’t cringe or show any signs other than empathy and compassion. By this time I had a new GP and he listened and cried with me and had my back. It was a great support. For the next 18ish mths the only people I spoke to was my counsellor and GP. I was totally socially isolated.
Towards the the end of this period I was out of control. My GP and therapist both felt out of their depth and called in a community mh team. Long story long I then had to go through the kind of process you are. There were plans set and then staff changes and some bad experiences with some staff.
Its taken 7 years to get the right team together. For the past year it’s been so different having this support. I have a GP, counsellor/therapist and psychiatrist who all get me. We are all on the same page. For me it has been worth the wait. I’m finally not so stuck, finally dealing with the stuff I needed to.
There are twists and turns I’ve omitted only so you don’t fall asleep. It may not be something that is helpful for you but I’ve developed a few strategies that have helped with the good parts of therapy. One was having a scrap book and I’d often create a visual representation with some words attached as to what was going on fo me. I could hand that to the therapist and then there were starting points with much less anxiety for me.
Currently i do a mind map for each session for my psych (I see her for an hour/fortnight doing psychotherapy). I hand her this and it’s means she gets to read about what’s been happening for the last fortnight and I don’t get flabbergasted with how to start or go in circles just talking about how my week has been. My mind map has the things I’d like to work on too as well as stresses and other life things. Again she can pick up on things and we can talk through it. I know this isn’t for everyone but it helps me heaps.
To get this team it has taken me an understanding of what I need in therapy, which was a very large drawn out process. I learned what wasn’t helpful from my past experiences. I learned and followed what other members found helpful and took suggestions from them. I used helplines often and finally had an understanding of what I needed. When my current psych was about to dump me about 18 months ago because she said she didn’t think she was helping I just spilled out all the things I needed help to work through. After that she decided to take me on fortnightly for psycho therapy. It’s been such a big help for me.
My therapist is the the one I had an 18 month break from when I was out of her depth. During that time she had done professional development so she could deal with the 'me’s’ of this world better. I have weekly access to her once a week, sometimes by phone or some appointments in her office. There are becoming more weeks where I don’t seek support from her now because I don’t need it. She helps me go through things that I didn’t cover with my psych but is also more able to deal with some relationship (family) difficulties from her social work background. This nov it will be 8 years that I’ve had contact with her as my therapist. It has been really valuable for her to have shared much history with me.
I understand it may be a bit difficult at the moment. I guess you I wanted to assure you that it can be life changing and worth the wait for the right people for mh support. I think in the mean time it might be helpful to have an understanding of what you need in therapy. I’m not sure if you are using the public system but if not I’d write some questions down about what you need from therapy and a therapist, and their availability. Consistency is so important if you want to build a trusting therapeutic relationship.
Sorry for the thesis, I hope some of this helps.
💜🤗
