To be or not to be

Hi and welcome to the forums @simontemplar 👋

”Tagging” happens when you place an @ symbol

directly in front of someone’s user-name (no space in between). The site conjures up an appointment mail to them, with a link in it to your post. You will probably be receiving such emails from those of us here who are tagging you into our posts.

There is is a way of turning off that function if it bothers you.

I am pleased to meet you too.

Hi @simontemplar hope today is going gently for you.

When you hit reply at the bottom of a post you get an empty box to type your reply into. If you scroll down below that you will see the post you are replying to.

Also as @Faith-and-Hope says, putting @ in front of the name you want to talk to with no spaces is the way to tag. You will get a drop down box and the name will show for you to click on it. Sometimes with a short name you need to type it slowly for it to appear in the box.

I will get back to you about your other question more later. I have to go out now. Take care.

Hi again @simontemplar I must say I'm curious about the name you've chosen to use here - given the history of 'knights templar' etc.

To answer your question - I knew for a long time that I had complex PTSD and major depression and anxiety disorders, but when I was first diagnosed as having bipolar 1 I was floored. It was really confronting. But the more I researched it the more I learnt and the more I realised that not only was it correct, but I had been having manic episodes since my teens. The thing was that I only ever presented to a Dr when I was in a depression slump. When I was flying high I was loving it! I didn't realise it was a sign of illness, especially when I elevated into manic psychosis - it all seemed real and risky behaviours (very risky) just felt like the adventures of a gypsy at heart. These days I keep mood charts daily so I can see when I'm stable and when things are starting to change for either the down or the up swing. And I'm on a cocktail of meds that has really worked for me to stay more in the middle and stable. I have really good psychologist and psychiatrist who communicate with each other. But I've also learned quite a lot about self-management and can even manage to retain insight into what's happening when things do shift and adjust my behaviour accordingly. All of these things have come from a combination of research and therapy, and even learning from others here on the forums. And I've started to rediscover my gypsy spirit and travel as well as being able to do my writing when stable, not just when I'm manic. In other words integrating who I was 'before' with what I know now, and being able to express those qualities safely.

What I've also learned is that a diagnosis is not something that means exactly the same condition for everyone who gets that 'label'. Most MH disorders are kind of a spectrum of different aspects of the condition that express differently in each person. Influenced by nature and nurture and life experiences and many other factors. This is just my own opinion from lived experience (I'm 56) ... I'm certainly not an expert that's for sure.

Hope some of this rave is helpful to you.

@eth

Firstly the name is from a movie that i quite enjoy, I was going to go with the name farting badly but prudence declared I didnt. The movie is the 1997 version with Val Kilmer, and it kinda suits me because most times i really am not sure who or what i am. No I dont have skitzophrenia (so they tell me) but I kind of "put on differnt clothes" if that makes sense.

I too am in my late 50's ( I was at a beatles concert so im told...i would have been 2 or 3) and have known all my life that I was never the happiest bunny in the field, and In order to get thru life I had to put on my brave clothes. It was the death of Robin Williams that started me looking at my life hard. My first experience with a psycologist was when i was about 18 who said (words that still echo in my head) "I hope some one is there to help when the laughter stops".

I called depression blah....i dont feel sad..I dont feel anything, I called anxiety stress...Anything out of my comfort zone was stressfull. It has only been the last two years that I have been seen by psycologists....psychatrists...and started seeking help in any meaningful way. Unfortuatly my foray into the world of getting help has exaerbated all of my symptoms.

I agree with your statment about spectrum and it seems to me that the outlook or training of the MH expert you get to see influences the actual "diagnosis".

Even typing all this is making the anxiety monster say hello...but i thank you for your input, and i hope helping me hasnt....raised any monsters in your world

Hey @simontemplar nope no monsters!

Re exacerbation of symptoms when foraying into the world of support therapies ... it can be a sign that you feel safe enough for what's in deep to come out to the surface to be dealt with. As my psychologist says "you have to feel it to heal it".

How are you going @simontemplar ?