PTSD, RTS, GenderDysphoria etc

Hi ,
I hope everyone is ok this morning.
I'm new to this & honestly I try to avoid online interaction.
I'm currently going through the Royal Commission Process & it's bringing up memories & sadly I'm realising how my life was affected by the behaviour of others.
I've been diagnosed with PTSD & RTS (Rape Trauma Syndrome) & it's exhausting, dealing with hyper vigilance & feeling unsafe.
I'm MTF & attempting to Transition, I find Trans people quite difficult to relate to as I don't seem to have the 'Stereotypicsl' Trans experience & I think I've developed some internalizied form of Transphobia!
I never felt I was born in the wrong body, & was a naturally feminine male pre-hormones, I'm also very Androgynous & probably identity more as Genderqueer , love & relate to the Boi Culture/identity, I dress very dapper ,work out hard both for fitness & as a form of dealing with trauma & hopefully preventing substance use, suicide , so I'm not a Hyper Femme like most MTF's, I've got loads of Tattooing , piecing & this means I'm an outsider in the Trans Community, who frown on this.
However, I believe I'm true to myself & my Femail Role models are physically strong Womyn, I also do Crossfit & Boxing.
I'm trying to manage, but most days I feel as if I'm a stranger in society, I'm finding I cry so much & I think my cat is getting more cuddles than ever, 'Thankfully she's a Burmese & total Cuddle Bug.
My Royal Commission advocate has suggested joining something social within the LGBTI community, but I finf socialization difficult & tiring, I'm always fearful I'll be judged because of my Gender History or My Trauma .
I've never felt lonely, & always thought that if I don't have friends or supporting, I should look in the mirror and take myself, well it doesn't seem to work now.
Trauma is horrible, it's debilitating.

I hope I haven't caused any offence with the things I've shared & hope everyone has a safe and serene weekend.