@Horsie Hello and sorry for the long post :). I was in a very similar situation as yourself except it was my husband. The first time he was admitted he was in voluntary and discharged himself. The second time my husband continuously demanded to be released. He walked out and then was brough back and held under the act, he refused treatment for a little while so they needed to force meds. This hurt me to know this but knew it was for the best. After a week the meds took effect and my husband started to see clearer and accepted treatment.
I put my trust in the doctors and spoke to them about my concerns. I badly wanted him home but due to how hard life is when he is having an episode I had to fully trust the doctors to hold him. I had open communication with his doctors and nurses. They were great and would let me call the ward at anytime of the day or night if I was worried and try to answer any of my questions or got the doctor to call me back. To this day this has been my saving grace as I can speak to them about any concerns I have now he is home and they are always there to offer support. They just want to see him well also.
I spoke to my 9 year old as I wanted her to know what was going on and that it was not her fault. I Told her daddy’s brain is unwel and his confused and sadness chemicals are really high. I said they are helping him fix his brain. she is content with this explanation for now. Because she knows this she is more understanding of my emotions and daddy sometimes being funny when we visited him. I also tell her daily that I may get upset or angry but it’s not her fault and if I do, I always apologise and remind my babies it’s not their fault.
I work full time and was the only income while he was in hospital. It was a great distraction for me. I tried to keep to a strict normal as usual routine with my kids but let them have breaks from extra curricular activities if and when needed. I also tried to eat healthy and made special time to go for a long walk each weekend and then a milkshake with them for special mummy time. This not only helped them but me also. We took photos and videos and sent it to daddy as he liked to see what we were up to and he said it was like he was there with us.
We visited daily after work and school. It was very draining on everyone. After a few weeks I had to cut it back to once every second day as my mental health started to decline. I would call my husband daily instead at recess and lunch and after work.
Lastly the most important thing I have done was I got into contact with Helpingminds. They have helped me and my children through so
much. They are a great support network for careers. They offer advice and counselling for both you and your daughter. I don’t know where you are located but see if you have something similar. If anything get support yourself.
Hope me this helps a little. Remember this is one little experience and yours may be completely different. If you have any other questions I’m here if you need it :).
