Mental Health has stolen my life from me

@FourthofJuly hello. this is hard to answer I think sometimes people think of recovery as "going back to how I was" which in my opinion (and i may be wrong) is not really always possible, going through such hard things can change people and that doesnt mean that the person will always struggle but maybe sometimes it is better to focus on feeling better and moving in the direction that you want. also this can take a lot of time and sometimes it is hard to know when things are better. i guess yes you can recover but maybe not in the way that you might be expecting and perhaps not fully, you might fully recover but i guess we never know unless we stick around to find out. sorry i am not very helpful.

I can see you feel frustrated and distressed about recovery but all I can say is that it really does take time and trying to rush into anything can be a set back.

If you have supportive friends that can be great to just get out and not be focused on the four walls. A good health professional, whether a psychologist or whatever you preference can also help with ongoing support. Old interests that you have perhaps let go can also be helpful in recovery. Just keep going, you can get there. The past is the past focus on today and the future.

Dear Fourthofjuly

I have only just now seen your post. I can honestly tell you that you will come back from this. I DID, SO YOU CAN TOO!

Hold the phone here... unfortunately I can't (as much as I want to) I can't explain how at the moment. But I will be back on here talking with you tomorrow morning. What mental health issues do you have and when were you diagnosed?

With lots of love and respect

CKS x

I got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and severe depression about 6 months ago, it's been nearly a year and every time I seem to take a step forward something cuts it down, something outside of me or me.

Recently it's gotten even worse and i don't know how to get out of this place that seems to keep saying, maybe it's not worth it and a lot of me feels like I could a lot less damage to those around me by not being here. I don't know, I don't expect to be the person who I was but I don't want to be tramped in this dark place.

Hi FourthofJuly

I have been where you are... in a hopeless desperate dark state. When I was diagnosed with CPTSD I was relieved but angry. I was gutted to think that i have to live with this disorder all my life. I simply didn't want the symptoms of CPTSD & Depression (which I have had since i was a teenager) to be in life any longer. I wanted to be free of anger, distorted thoughts, low self-esteem, self-hatred, suicide thoughts etc. But I knew these symptoms were going to be with me for the rest of my life, so i had to accept them. And by my accepting them i wanted to know more about the why's and how-fore's of them. So i emersed myself in research about CPTSD and Depression. The more I learnt the more I figured that if the aspects were staying then i needed to accept them. The big challenge was how was I going to manage them. I had such enormous fear, but i had to literally draw from my soul the courage to confront these horrid aspects and say out loud "I recognise my symptoms of CPTSD and depression, I know exactly what you do and why, but from now on you don't get to come as often as you like, for i am wise to you now, I will not allow you to dominate my life, I no longer fear you, i am at the helm of my ship and I will steer!" Immediately after i made this committment to myself I started working on healing. I worked day and night with different methods of writing and visualisation techniques that focused on changing my beliefs about myself, my thought patterns and implemented some care and consideration for the important person that i am. Before long my self-esteem had improved immensely and my day to day life gradually improved. I wrote a lot of poetry, not that i am any sort of a poet, it was simply a way that i found to effectively express myself. It provided a platform for me to get to know my inner child aswell. I am a big believer about the benefits of connecting with our inner child.

Dear Fourthofjuly, i hope some of this helps you.

With love

CK

It’s like a bad dream you never wake up from? Just stay like that day after day it gets better; some days better than others.

If it helps you I just got out of hospital for bi-polar manic episode and the only reason I say this is because there days where I thought there was no other way as well. But there is; at the moment I’m pacing around the house all day.

feel free to talk to me whenever, make sure you are getting sunlight and eating healthy