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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

p.s. I did read the post. This time it came quickly in notifications fortunately.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone,

Loving the discussion this morning. As @Mazarita said, we want to keep the forum a space where people can feel safe to share, and part of this is without fear of being identified. I'm sorry that you disagreed with the decision. So just a friendly reminder to all to please keep identifiable information private, both about yourself and others.

Thanks!

Flipper

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, seems like you are either p-ed off enough to disengage from the forum just now. Either that or you are in discussion about it with the mods. I need to log off now as I've got to get out of my dressing gown and nightie (for the first time in about 36 hours), have a shower and get ready for the psychiatrist appointment. Even with the moderation interrupting the flow of our conversation this morning, it's been great having an extended chat with you after your break away. Look forward to catching you soon again. Hope today gets better than it probably feels for you just now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita I was cranky enough to step away briefly, just long enough to get dressed and put some washing on. It's been great chatting with you too, haven't got a notification of your last post yet, so sorry I missed you. Hope you have a productive session with your PDoc this afternoon. Look forward to catching up again soon x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita@eth@Exoplanet@Sophia1@Faith and Hope @Bunniekins everyone really. This is a fast moving thread but I get bits and pieces. Hope your day goes okish.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Maggie

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A bit upset about the death of the comedian Eurydice Dixon .. and the police response about women, implying we need to take more responsibility for this sort of thing ... Uuuugh ... that makes me cranky!

Hope you aren't too bad @eth @Mazarita @Maggie @Exoplanet

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @eth, @Mazarita, @Appleblossom, @Maggie,

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not a good start to today

My 2 boys in there 20's have turned very lazy, they both have dogs, which they do not feed, check their water or never walk, and one of the dogs chews everything, wrecks the house and needs to be desexed.

They never clean up after themselves, we have a dishwasher and they can't even rinse there dishes and put them in the dishwasher, and they don't empty it either, we run out of cutlery, cups cause they keep getting a clean one.

I wash the clothes and ask them to hang them out but they never do so if i don't, they just sit there. Then i fold them so they can put them away,but there all just on the lounge chairs messed up.

They dont take the rubbish out usually till there due.

For some reason i just lost it with all of them this morning told them im not looking after there dogs anymore, or cleaning , or washing and I'm so angry.

But of course as is always, i will end up doing it all again until i loose it the next time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Its pretty understandable to be angry about living in those circumstances. @saturnzoon How old are your boys? I have been working on setting boundaries for my so for a while. It is easier to set boundaries that have a good outcome with only one child in the house.

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