FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

9,001 - 9,010 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im a really restless person too @Mazarita I do enjoy a quiet day though.
Tidying the bathroom and kitchen sounds like a good plan.
Do you get people to come in once a week/fortnight to help you tidy up tour house at all?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No cleaners here, @outlander. C doesn't want that and I can't really afford it. But I am a fairly tidy person, even if I'm not good at the big jobs. I tidy the kitchen and do the dishes (dishwasher, my best friend, lol). On occasions, when I am really struggling to do it, I actually give C some money to clean my bathroom (we each have our own), which is a bit embarrassing, but he likes the extra cash sometimes. C does the floors and cooking, except I vacuum my own bedroom and 'cook' toasties for us from time to time, occasional meals (very occasional, I have about 3 recipes). We do our own washing. There's not that much more to do here except when inspection time comes around and we use it as an excuse to give the place a thorough clean. Then I do heaps more too usually. It's a small two bedroom flat, so not a huge amount to do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I would love a dishwasher! @Mazarita

Sounds like a good set up you and C have going. Its not too hard to keep everything tidy esp in a small place and just regular tidy ups.
My mum was nice enough to give my kitchen and bathroom a proper clean the other week.
The big jobs dont have to be done all that often thankfully. I find just abit of cleaning each day is enough

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I know, @outlander. It's the first place I've ever been in that has a dishwasher. Makes things so much better, though I think they are probalby bad for the environment due to the high amount of water they use. That's really nice of your mum to do some cleaning for you. So glad to hear she helps you from time to time. You seem to do a lot of helping in the opposite direction, which is good of you. Though I think you probably don't get the appreciation you deserve. At least there are many here who appreciate what you do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Apparently most dishwashers use less water than normal dishwashing daily @Mazarita
I havent been doing as much cleaning which annoys people but im limited atm. I done a very small amount of dishes the other day first time in 12 weeks. I need to do the washing but need to make sure pops ok cause i cant hang it out. Ive been doing bits and pieces and hanging them up inside but by the time they dry theres even more washing. Fingers crossed hes ok to do 2 or 3 loads tomorrow.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, so sorry you have this injury. You are being patient with it, though I know you are struggling too. I hope your pop is okay to hang out the washing tomorrow. How old is he, if you don't mind me asking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hes in his early 70s @Mazarita
He had a big outing today so might not be up for it. If not then ill give it ago. Theres only a day or 2 of good weather before it gets cold and overcast again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im trying to be patient with it. Its very frustrating

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you are able to get the washing done tomorrow then, @outlander. I wonder what we'll do in art group tomorrow. I wouldn't mind getting into some more still life drawing but that may or may not be on the cards.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hmm i hope its something good for you @Mazarita
Have you taken a liking to still life art?
I watched this amazing time lapse still life painting. I wish i could find the one iseen. I wouldve loved to be able to share it here. It really had me mesmerised watching it.
9,001 - 9,010 of 27,230