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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I wasn't great at swimming though @outlander - I didn't find the love for water until I was much older - atm I could barely swim my way out of the bath lol but hoping that will change once I start building up some strength - I know that is a long road ahead though.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No me either. I use to avoid it lol @Zoe7
Im sure youll be able to swim more soon once you start physio and regain strength ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It will be quite a while - I have lost all muscle tone and am extremely unfit due to my constant muscle aches and fatigue @outlander. I was hoping to get back to work sometime this year but that is looking more and more unlikely - I suppose all we can do is wait and see - physio first and then go from there!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Slow and steady @Zoe7 takes a while to build back fitness and muscle . I believe you will though.

Im sorry to hear about work. I hope in time you'll be able to get back to work or even do something similar...
Maybe after youve learnt more dbt ( which after listening to you tonight is helping and can see some improvements) and your pain is more under control it might become abit more likley....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It isn't so much DBT that is helping @outlander we finally have the meds right and I can sleep - that was always the biggest impediment to me getting better in any form. DBT usually takes 2 years to go through all modules twice - the first time it is hard to take things in - especially when you are not comfortable in a group. The module we are doing now is going to be a little easier because I am nore comfortable in the group but I still find it hard to talk - so that is another barrier for me to try to get over - not an easy one as I don't like talking (or haven't been allowed to) in other areas of my life.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Meds and sleep are a very good start @Zoe7 about time something fell into place for you.
Becoming comfortable isnt something that happens overnight but you are trying and breaking down abit of those barriers and thats all that matters.
Thank you for also explaining dbt more too. I hadnt realised you go through it twice.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The idea is that you work in a group and can share things with that group @outlander - the first half of each session is basically talking about how you have used the skills from the week before - that becomes a lot harder for me because I am isolated from the outside world for most of my time - and others have family and/or friends and some have jobs where they have plenty of social interactions. The second half of the session is learning the new skill for the week. After the sessions we all have a pdoc appointment where we go through how the session went, how we have used the skills from the previous week and discuss the new skill - it is also to discuss anything that the session has brought up for us that we don't share in the group. The pdoc app is crucial in the process - especially if there are things that have triggered you in the DBT session.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh that sounds good @Zoe7 theyve set it up well esp with the support afterwards. The hardest part is probably being in the group but i guess its still good so you can get some social interactions too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

DBT is supposed to be about the social interaction as much as the skills @outlander - you can do the skills on your own but it is practicing them in the group thatis the most important (and hardest) part.

I am going to head over to ANC for a while Hon. It has been lovely chatting to you tonight. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the chat @Zoe7 its been loveley catching up with you. Yes please id be interested to know how you go ❤❣
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