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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It goes without saying that I have triangles of doom happening. Hopefully won't be too long :).

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hopefully it won't be @Bunniekins

In response to: A long rave

@Re: A long rave

As @Mazarita would say @Zoe7 'Snap!' 😄

In response to: @Re: A long rave

Re: @Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Hope you are feeling a bit better today @Zoe7 .... good to see you out and about the forums as I know you have been having it tough lately ....

In response to: Re: @Re: A long rave

Re: @Re: A long rave

I know this is not ideal @Bunniekins but the pain meds are really helping. I have my first physio session tomorrow so I expect the pain to increase for a couple of days after that.

I am venturing out a bit more lately but still trying to avoid triggers as that can send me back into myself really quickly.

I have had a couple of bad nights in a row but today is not as bad as yesterday was - still trying to take each day as it comes for now -that is all I can do!

In response to: Re: @Re: A long rave

Re: @Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Sometimes life just is not fair is it ... really hoping that the physio works out well for you tomorrow (without pain ....). Goes without saying let us know how it goes for you we will all be thinking of you and wishing you well. I don't often talk when those close are in trouble but I do read and feel the pain none the less just find it hard to find the words to express my feelings. Just know that the pea is there with you 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Still waiting 25 mins now ... shouldn't be too much longer 🙂 @Zoe7

In response to: Re: @Re: A long rave

Re: @Re: A long rave

Sometimes I find it hard to respond to those I care about too @Bunniekins - it feels at times that a like just isn't enough but the words won't come - I think I shutdown sometimes when I read how much pain others are in - depends how close I feel to them and whether I can remain obhective at the same time - it is often a fine line!

In response to: @Re: A long rave

Re: @Re: A long rave

Hello Everybody

So glad to hear your polishing the rubber duckie Mazy I hope your still enjoying your visits

I'm visiting someone too, a nice lady, very patient, kind & gentle . . . extrememly patient. It has helped. I even took some pills for a while, but wasn't forced or even pushed to continue, I was allowed to stop when I chose.

My sleep was all over the place too Outlander, I'm not good when my sleeps not good, it was pretty bad, but I've got it back in routine again now

Love to you all

@Mazarita @outlander @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Teej

In response to: Re: @Re: A long rave

Re: @Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Yes I am the same. I know that when I get to know someone really well I shut down. In rl too. I must seem uncaring and aloof to most, even those who know me well ... goes to show you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, you could get the person entirely wrong by what you think you perceive with your own biases.

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