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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita, @outlander.

yesterday I couldn’t manage much on the forum. My therapy appointment was full on. I ended up being brave and told her therapy wasn’t working. It took ages until she finally got what I’ve been trying to tell her for months. I’m hoping that this is a turning point. I also cried almost the entire session. She ended up telling me that those big emotions are grief. I think she was right. I just hadn’t connected it all. There is something I think I’m grieving. It’s been a big loss for me but I’m trying to be brave and get through it without doing anything stupid. Feeling really solemn just now but hoping that this will pass and that I get to work on something important in therapy.

That’s my rave :face_with_rolling_eyes:

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej Hi Teej have a lovely day. Stay warm! xxxx:)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, just had a call from my friend, meetup is on. Means taking two buses to get there and another bus ride to get back, about 90 minutes travelling on buses all up. But worth it for the visit. Gives me a reason to get cleaned up and dressed and will almost certainly feel better afterwards. No other plans aside from that. What do you think you might do with your day aside from chill?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita well if I dont start running it will be rolling lol!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well done on being brave @Teej its so hard to speak up. I hope the friendship continues though and you can find another therapist more suited to you ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Bunniekins

@Mazarita that sounds like a good plan. No, no other plans here. I may do some grocery shopping but will see how i go

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Even just recognising the grief in your session yesterday, @Teej, sounds like a move forward. Hugs for your solemn feelings just now. Really good going on spilling about your dissatisfaction with progress in therapy. Sounds like you've taken things well in hand for yourself and will be moving forward from here on. That's my hope for you anyway.

@Bunniekins, lol. Are you still drinking lots of yucky pucky water? I drink a fair bit throughout my days, but usually it's got cordial in it, which may defeat the purpose.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej Thanks Teej :D:D xxxx

@outlander Morning outlander wishing you a fabulous day ahead xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander I can’t find another therapist. I have no way to pay for it. I’m hoping she’ll be better able to help me through this. She told me how we can address it so I’m hoping it will just get therapy back on track. There is still value in her being my therapist too. Yesterday she was able to help me remember something from early therapy which was helpful. I’m just hoping that we find a place to work better. She also told me that she had to stop much therapy because I would get too distressed whilst I’ve not been stable. It was good to hear that from her.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Have a great day with your friend Maz 🙂 xxx

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