FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

8,561 - 8,570 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita take care.

It's been nearly 2 years since I started coming out and a year since I officially changed my name (I was scared about being trans for a long time) I havent been medically allowed to transition because I'm not 'stable enough'

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita @Bunniekins @The-red-centaur and all

I slept in @Mazarita ☺ Still in bed now but about to get up make a cuppa. I feel really queasy slow and hungover, but sleep is good.

Looking forward to having a read around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hey @CheerBear 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @The-red-centaur. Nice to 'see' you this morning ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear normally I wouldn't be around this time but I haven't slept. The forums kept me sane for some of the night.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear you haven't slept @The-red-centaur. I'm glad the forums kept you sane and you had some company last night. They (particularly this thread and the company here) have kept me sane a number of times in the early morning hours.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear@Mazarita@The-red-centaur You've had a busy night/morning. All the talk of night walking early morning walking brought back memories. That's when I did mine. Not now though, body rebels now. I love the early mornings also. Raining and windy here today, Furbaby refuses to venture outside.

@CheerBear Good morning to you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @The-red-centaur, thanks for sharing. Hope the shower helped ease the disturbance. I went back to bed just after you went for your shower. Hope today treats you well.

Hi @CheerBear, so awesome that you slept in! Not so awesome the side effects, but sounds like you value the sleep most of all. Have a good one today, CB.

Hi @Maggie, my body rebels at a lot of things these days too. Sounds cosy though with furbaby and and rain and wind outside.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@The-red-centaur My friend is trans, really interesting person. It's been difficult for her in many ways.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Up again, after a number of chunks of sleep last night and this morning, and a couple of hours awake in the early hours chatting with @Bunniekins and @The-red-centaur. Have added up enough sleep for now, though I'm still tired and had an inadvertent micro-sleep in the armchair just before this. Writing to keep myself awake now.

Still in my nightie and dressing gown, my comfort clothes. Don't want to get out of them yet. So far I've breakfasted and taken meds and turned on music on the TV/radio to try to lift my energy and wakefulness more. That and opened the blinds. These are good things I try to always do when feeling demotivated at the start of days, as is so often the case. What a contrast to the middle of the night, when I'm often at my peak!

There's a chance I might end up at my friend's place today, which would be a great thing. It would get me out of the flat and social. Almost always lifts me a lot. If not, I have no plans and could well spend the day in my nightwear. I'll try not to do that, but don't always succeed on days like today.

@Bunniekins, how was your walk this morning? Did you do any running? It's lovely imagining you at first light watching the bay, while getting some exercise and fresh air. I love twilight times, perhaps as much as I like the middle of the night.

@The-red-centaur, I too have a trans friend, sweet person with MI too. Also had a year-long relationship a couple of decades ago with someone who was intersex, born with genetic characteristics of both male and female.

I wonder who might be around for a chat this morning. Hi to @outlander, @CheerBear, @Teej and @Faith-and-Hope. If you or anyone else passing through feels like chatting, I'm here. No worries, if not. Maybe catch you later.

Hope today brings okay or better times for all.

8,561 - 8,570 of 27,230