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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah, I do live in some pain, more or less of it, every day, @outlander. The pain that has really been bothering me is my legs and feet. That's because I really like walking, it's my exercise of choice. Plus, and more importantly, my legs are my independence (that and public transport). I've walked on the beach hundreds of times since I've been living here, about four years. It's soul food to me to do that, so the pain in my legs has been really distressing mentally and emotionally too.

How I deal with it is by being as patient as possible, like you. I'm not naturally a patient person really but time and good psych meds have helped. It's harder, I find, getting older, with the aches and pains that come with it. On the other hand I have found rewards in getting older too. Learning from experience in the journey of life. I also try to be as philosophical as possible about things. Life deals us all different hands and it's what we do with it that matters. That kind of thing. Not that I've achieved great things in my life. But I'm okay with it, given my limitations physically and mentally with chronic illnesses. I also try to look after myself medically, as do you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That would be hard for you too @Mazarita emotionally and physically taxing trying to do what you want and whats good for you bs pain. It sucks sometimes.

Patience is a virtue so they say...

Its really good that you can see the good things too though like what youve learnt from experiences etc. You do seem wise. I dont think we really ever stop learning. Being able to accept things as you have is really good! Ill need to learn to do that too.

very well done that youve been able to achieve that. Must feel like abit of relief too.... ❤❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander, well, there are those attitudes that are helpful in me, but there's also other feelings that come out about it all. When I'm in a good mood, like tonight, I can be very philosophical, lol. Not always as easy though. Life continues to challenge. But as you say we never stop learning.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Theres no way i would expect you to have good days all the time @Mazarita but its good to hear what works for you and how you cope with it all.

Your learnings help me too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's very kind of you to say, @outlander.

I kind of also express the darker feelings about my life through creativity. Not to say what I do is always dark. I have made comic things too. But I find that creativity lets me express a wider range of emotions and thoughts than I can express in ordinary life. If that makes sense.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No that makes sense @Mazarita is that why/when you write?

Ive writte a few poems that said what i needed to say but what i couldnt express normally.

I also draw (even if its just scribble) a healthier way to cope.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That should say "its a healthier way to cope'

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, that's why I write, @outlander. Have done so much writing in my life. I used to keep a daily journal where, close to first thing in the day, I wrote three pages without going back and editing. Just what came out of my head and onto the page. Did it for many many years. These days I write here instead. I especially appreciate @Silenus's writing thread for getting me going writing poetry again. Hadn't done that for a very long time before I started doing some there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Sans911, I know youa re online helping in another thread. No need to reply. Just want to say hi because I just got your like then.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I like that thread too. The poems and any style of writing really is interesting. Everyone seems to have their own take on things @Mazarita
Do you think your journalling would benefit you now?
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