FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

8,331 - 8,340 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander I hope there is something they can do to sort your hand out too.

@Mazarita So gorgeous to hear you talk of your good day 😊.

Curious but in a caring way to hear how you are going too @CheerBear if you are up to it.

Hoping @Bunniekins peas day got a little better too

hugs to all 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im sure itll all work out eventually @Teej

Hows things at your end?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

To add to the good day, @outlander, my legs and feet were really good when I was walking around the suburbs between bus stops and places. It's a long time since they've felt so good. I'm guessing the rest from barefoot beach walking that the physio recommended, and her acupuncture and massage, as well as the exercises I've been (sometimes) doing... they all seem to be helping.

I guess you have exercises for your arm?

With cars, although I have a licence, I have developed a phobia about driving, haven't done it for years. Also scared as a passenger in cars, but I do it sometimes anyway (and half-meditate when I'm in there to get through it). Public transport is my independence.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Smiled at that random thought @Mazarita. I think more teedj 😉. I’m not sure if you ever call yourself by your forum name..... I have 😳 and it’s always been teedj. It’s a nickname but I also found out is the following.... (cut and paste from Wikipedia 🤦‍♀️)

Teej is a generic name for a number of festivals that are celebrated by Bahun jati in Nepal and some parts of India. Hartalika Teej welcomes the monsoon season and is celebrated primarily by girls and women, with songs, dancing and prayer rituals.
Celebrations: wearing colorful dress maxima people using red because red is a symbol of love
Date: July/August/September
i thought that was pretty cool. Colour is a huge part of the festivals and it’s over 3months 😆

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej, that's what I've had in my head these years but every now and then I wondered whether it was the other pronunciation. Those festivals sound beautiful. I love that it's celebrated by women. Red is a symbol of love, I like that too. Maybe some songs and dancing might be good for you! I used to sing and dance. I still sing quietly to myself occasionally but dancing seems a bit of a stretch with my legs and feet. Still, there's always hope, especially today, lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Evening all. I am a very tired frog but it's good to hear what's been going on for you.

@Teej love your festival name!

@Mazarita glad you had a good one after being down for a while. It's a relief sometimes just getting a breather.

@outlander I hope you get some joy from the hand specialist. It's a pain, both literally and hassle-wise dealing with a persistent injury.

@Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear thinking of you.

I can't keep my eyes open much longer. Wishing you sleep and peace friends.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello everyone!

Hugest smile reading about your day @Mazarita! Best 😊 I'm so happy for you. Also random but enormously big smile at your question re @Teej 's name as it's genuinely been on my random list of things I must find out 😆 I wasn't sure if it was tee-jay or teeeeeej or teeDj sounding too haha! What a cool meaning @Teej 😊

Hugs for you @outlander ❤

I'm running with "all's well that ends well" I think today, thank you for asking. I didn't do well with the catt psychiatrist at all and was massively triggered. I didn't swear, didn't cry, didn't personally attack anyone (there was him and a social worker there) but I couldn't help myself and I let them know how horrendous the process was and why, and I probably did it quite bluntly. Definitely did it that way. It ended well in that the social worker suggested I work only with one catt worker (rather than getring bounced between a rotating team) from here to avoid the re-tell my story again and again, and that it be a female worker. She's taking me on and we will "chat" on our calls, rather than run through a check box fire off of safety questions in a cold harsh way. And she's going to try to push the referral to get there faster ☺

Sorry that was a rave and maybe an out of context one by the time I press post! I feel good tonight for it though.

Hope anyone reading is having an OK/better than OK night too ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Actually I think it’s more teeeeej @CheerBear, @Mazarita and TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJ when I’ve been naughty 😜😆

Definately go with the result @CheerBear. I’m pretty impressed no chairs were thrown through that process....... I wanted to once. It seems like a good (and logical yay) outcome. Go you!

Thanks @frog. When I saw your name pop up I realised that I wanted to say that it was great news about the scans. ( I so hope I have the right person as I read that many hours ago 🤔) I hope you get a good nights sleep.

Now im out for a bit.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@frog, good to see you, even if you are a very tired frog. Thanks for your good wishes on my good day. Sleep well and peacefully.

@CheerBear, I can imagine how awful it would be to have to repeat your experiences over and over. So glad it has worked out the way it has. Did you mean that she is going to push for the break sooner? That would be wonderful. Smile here that you wanted to ask the @Teej question too. Sorry that you had to go through a difficult catt session. Sounds like you handled the situation very well and achieved something more positive than it was shaping up to be. Never out of context to rave here, and long, feel truly free to do that.

Take it easy, @Teej. Thanks for chatting with me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @frog 😊 Always nice to see you. I hope you sleep well tonight.

Haha @Teej! I think the catt make sure their office/interrogation room is chair throwing free (for good reason!). Aside from the time I threw my phone across our bedroom in the refuge with giant f. this words, I haven't actually thrown any of the things I've wanted to so badly in those kinds of situations 😆. Great to see you tonight. Hope you sleep well too 💗
8,331 - 8,340 of 27,230