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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, so sorry yesterday was awful and long. I had hoped things might go more smoothly and that you would feel more in the driving seat. Recovery day sounds like a great idea. Sending you relaxing vibes

I am much quieter as in-person company. I get shy in myself and hypersensitive to those around me. I can be awkward or disconertingly silent, I think. At other times in my life, and in other situations now, I can be much more lively and talkative, but not so much at the moment. C and I have a fun together at times.

After I tried to post the above message, the site went down, hence the delay.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you for your kind and gentle encouragement @Mazarita. I've just caught up with posts in the nest and really appreciate your support. I had a meeting after school in a middle vs the art teacher battle that kept the hard going, and then a wonky night with said middle when they cracked it about the meeting. Long day. I'm bean-bag clouding today for sure!

It's hard to imagine you being really shy and quiet. Are you more lively and talktative in small groups/one on one? It's great you have C ☺ I like smaller groups and one on one chats better than big groups.

Site has gone down on and off, but only briefly for me so far.

(I had to take the opportunity to edit to add the missing word there, only because edit has been a pain as a mobile user! Yay! It is so much better! Sorry for the double email tag you'll get for that though)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It depends a lot on the person I'm interracting with, @CheerBear. I tend to like one on one, or two on one, or as you say small groups, but these days not large groups. Even though I did manage the screening in Melbourne and a lot of people. It was a big strain and I was spun out many times, needing to take my prn relaxants quite often. Ideal visit duration for me is between 1 and 3 hours. After that I may start to get spaced out and strange. I often need recovery time after any social contact aside from C and my close friend.

I feel for middle, hard to be in conflict with a teacher, so much bigger and more powerful. I feel for you having to go through that too, and deal with the aftermath with middle. I like thinking of you in your bean bag. Do you think you might do some craft?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I feel pretty similar with the time in conversation @Mazarita. Spaced out is a good way to describe it. I get really tired with lots of grown up people after a while. I can do little people for a lot longer but trying to keep up with lots of conversations is hard.

I feel for middle too. I mentioned my concern about big adult vs small child yesterday. We got somewhere, it took a lot though. Fingers crossed it is sorted soon.

I would like to do some craft but I haven't been able to for a while. My concentration is gone and I feel scattered and all over the place, or too crashed out and tired to do much of it. I think it might be good to have a less challenging project while I'm feeling like this. Maybe something smaller. I am researching a series at the moment and finding comfort in that with the furballs, so that's nice ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

OMG! these changes are very disturbing to the lil pea

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It has buggered up my custom tag .... oh well 😞 your avatar looks great but the change .is doing my head in... *crawls under doona cover*

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins. It's very different that's for sure! Hopefully we can pick it up quite easily and get used to it. I was thrown a little but getting more used to it already.

Are you using mobile or desktop?

Have you seen the thread that goes through some of the changes? You can find it here if you haven't.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Bunniekins

Yes, it will take a bit of getting used to. I'm finding the spacing between lines of the message rather wide!

Lots of space on the page.

Maybe that's a good thing. Once I'm used to the wide open spaces, lol.

@CheerBear, fingers crossed for you and middle both that it gets sorted with the teacher very soon. Sounds like small is good for the craft ideas just now. I have concentration problems in various ways, I think in big part from the meds. Video I can go at very long sometimes though. No reading of books anymore though, as I regularly bemoan here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No idea what I'm doing, but hoping to offer a little support @CheerBear. Can't get onto your thread. Tech dynasor operations here. 💛💕💜

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It almost feels more closed in to me at the moment, in a way. Kind of like entering a quieter room maybe. It could be the softer background colour and the way to get to threads and posts now though (or a funny early morning mood I am in - totally possible). I don't think it's a bad thing, just a different thing.

I read my post above and it said researching a series. It should have said re-watching @Mazarita. I can't read much for long, and definitely not a book. Even tv/movies are a struggle but if it is something I can switch off with I can do it. Has to be a pretty good something to be able to do that with. Great you have your video to get involved in ☺

@Maggie thank you and hugs to you 💗 We'll work through the tech changes and get there, understand that it is tricky and is going to take some getting used to. I hope you're going OK enough today.

I'm going to head out and get my kids up and moving. It's been great to catch you (all) this morning.

Big hugs and best wishes for the start of the day x
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