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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear Aren't the change of seasons beautiful 🙂 CheerBear. What kinds of fruit trees do you have?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You're so sweet @Bunniekins ❤️
I want you to be happy today too xxxooo
I don't know how I feel at the moment but I'll try to have a nice day. And be happy 😊
BB xxoo

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I love watching the garden (and the world) change across the year with the seasons @Bunniekins 😊

We have a few different ones - nectarine, plum, lemon, apricot (that's my favourite with the lemon tree), olive, peach, quince.

There are some photos of our trees at my favourite time of the year on the first page in The Community Garden if you'd like to see sometime. So pretty!

Do you have a garden you enjoy? Sorry if you've mentioned it before.

Morning to you also @BlueBay ☺

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @CheerBear
The sun is out but it's very cold. I can hear the birds. We used to have lots of fruit trees and s huge lemon tree in our old house. But we moved last year to a smaller block so no room for fruit trees. Just enough room fir a few plants and palms. We have made our garden more tropical.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear Yes I have a small courtyard with a beautiful statue in the middle of it with dwarf guardenias and other smallish plants surrounding her (the statue). I took a picture of her or one like her in community gardens too :). I will go and have a look at your fruit trees now 😄 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear son is up have to go. Will have a look a bit later 🙂 xxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love lemon trees @BlueBay. We moved from a tiny block, no plants but a nice house, into a bigger block full of flowers and trees with a not so nice house. The garden keeps me sane while we live here I think. Tropical garden would be lovely and a great idea with the smaller space ☺

Sounds beautiful @Bunniekins! Gardenia are lovely. It's been suggested I don't try them here but I really want to. This garden has inspired me to keep my own plants in pots for when we move. Don't think I could be without garden pretties anymore.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hooe your morniing goes well @Bunniekins x

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning-almost-midday, @CheerBear, @outlander, @Bunniekins, @BlueBay, @frog, @Maggie and all passing this way today.

Dressing gown still, at least I'm up, though sleepy. Half decent sleep last night and this morning, in a few blocks, but still morning fatigue. Things done for the day so far: breakfast, medications, coffee x 2. Next challenge: wash and dress and make bed. Not there yet. It's possible I might end up back in bed before making it, though I did finally make my bed yesterday - about an hour before I got into it last night.

Motivation is a huge challenge at present.

I hope everyone has more energy than I this day (wouldn't be hard, lol), and that the rest of this day treats us all kindly.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

❤️ @Mazarita ......
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