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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats more than ok @Teej take care ❤ would it help to just have a general convo as a distraction? Your more than welcome to join in here or anywhere you like

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Night, @CheerBear. The mood diary sounds like a good idea. Although for me it would have to be an hour by hour thing, I think! I tend to get good times in chunks rather than continuous days, for example. Still adds up though, and good to remind ourselves of these moments. Sleep well and wake up refreshed.

Hi @Teej, good to see you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Omg sorry I got sidetracked @outlander. I’m hoping your appointment goes ok tomorrow. My meds got increased today, not sure how that will go either. I’m so sorry your psych makes an issue of your weight. Mine is mindful of mine and subtly adds it in to conversations, it’s there but not the main feature. Sometimes she uses the doctor line to say she covers all of my well-being. It doesn’t feel overwhelming though. Maybe it’s worth telling yours how you feel about it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Give Attachment a cuddle from me @Teej .....

Btw I got into the course today, if you didn’t catch that memo ..... ❣️

Goodnight Hon 💜🌙✨

Lol @Mazarita .... thought you might like that one .....

😊 @outlander .....

Sounds peaceful @CheerBear. Would love a cat to be snuggling in with me .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you for your nice messages to me and others @outlander

I've got such a headache now.........I think my Mum is a lunatic.......is'nt that terrible. I'm so tired. How can I get into feeling good again? I think that she likes for there to be competition with my brothers and me. I kept on texting her leave my brothers out of it. I have no problems with my brothers but she kept on texting that I do. We can't communicate. This is how good it gets, a few texts and a lot of grief.

You see, we went out together and as usual, she's raving on about how wonderful my brothers and sister in laws are to my adult sons and ..........the bad choices I make in men who have manipulated my money out of my life. years and years ago. I asked her not to put me down, I was nice and asked her to just listen to me and that I wanted to have a good relationship with her but I felt annoyed in her slagging me off.

She chucked a tantrum. She told me that she was going to hang up on me and did.......jeepers. Then the texting began.

At least shes texting.

Usually, her friends and my brothers tell me hints that she told them that I'm threatening to abuse her or I have abused her.

Thank you for reading, Im really sorry Im only listening to myself. Ill be good by tomorrow. I can listen then......xxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Theres no need to apologise @Teej not at all.
Im.hoping you have some.more success with your meds. It can be really overwhelming indeed!
Thankfully i only see the pdoc every 6ish weeks. Ive pulled her up twice on it and ive lost weight and i told her that. She pulled her head in abit after i said that so im hoping this session will be better. Mine doesnt put it into convo. She brings it up as a separate topic all together. I dont have much luck with any mh professionals lol. I just called it quits with a psychologist because she blamed me for having a mental illness and said its my fault im not better after 6 sessions (2 of those were those introductory get to know you thing so really 4 proper session) my ultimatum was i either do trauma work or dont go to therapy according to her. So i dont see her anymore.

Your pdoc sounds understanding of your needs-do you like her?

Have you got some self care planned for yourself tonight to help yourself resettle?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It’s good to hear you listen8ng to yourself @PeppiPatty ..... ❣️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs @PeppiPatty that sounds very frustrating and hurtful. I hope there is an ok outcome soon and she settles down. Take good care of you. 💜🤗

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im.glad your getting all this out @Appleblossom im hearing you. It sounds really difficult. Ive got a really difficult family too so can understand.
Have you got some self care things planned tonight to help you calm and relax abit?
Do you have plans for tomorrow?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs, @PeppiPatty

@Faith-and-Hope, still grinning about you getting into the course. When does it start?

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