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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Thanks @Zoe7. I know I'll probably have some more tough times with this as things proceed. Great to know you are around to chat to about it.

Thanks @utopia

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Big big day @Mazarita! Yet you still managed to get out and visit your friend too - that takes something huge. Will be 'cheer'ing you on through it all in the Daily Goals thread (and here if it is helpful), knowing how not easy and unfair it can feel ❤️

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Anytime for you @Mazarita

@CheerBear 'cheer'ing her along - hahaha lol

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

oh @Mazarita not fair on the houseing, is there any chance it'll be sold to continue being rented? or have you alreay got a date to find a new place by? moving is annoying...
glad you got out ot your friends house,
lj

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Thanks, @Former-Member. Yes there is a chance it will be sold to another investor who will keep us in it. That's what we hoped for on the last two places we lived that were also sold while we were living there. Both times then it was owner/occupiers who took over and we had to move out as well, even after all the intrusions and stress of sales inspections.

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

😞 sorry @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Don't be sorry, @Former-Member. I really appreciate you replying and talking to me about it. What you said is a definite possibility. I am just in a fairly negative mood about it all still. Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Another 12 hour sleep. A bit calmer this morning (partly because I've taken prn meds to calm me down the past two days). Feelings of depression still heavy on my heart but not quite so shocked and frantic about it all as I was yesterday.

Looked up available rentals in the area just to see what we would be faced with if we had to join the market for rentals now. The picture is not pretty. A place we looked at two years ago around the corner, much less livable than where we are now, has gone up $55 per week from when we last saw it. We didn't apply for that place back then because one room had piles of cockroach droppings in a wardrobe. Other places in our rental range in this area just nowhere near the modest quality of the place we live now. Places that are at all equivalent to where we are living are just out of our price range now.

If we are going to have to move eventually, we are either going to have to move a long way from all social, medical and friendship supports, or else accept much, much less for the rent we can pay. The prospect of being even more cramped and on top of each other than we already are is not a happy one. Kitchens in these places, including the one we're in now, are like postage stamps. We're already paying more than 30% of our income on rent. That means we are officially under rental stress even as we are.

Clearly, I still feel very negative about this whole thing. And even more worried about my long term housing future than I already was. My biggest, long-term fear is that I will eventually end up homeless, something I've already been close to on two occasions in the past. There may be some degree of 'catastrophising' in that fear. But, on the other hand, we are in fact very vulnerable, and aging, which makes us even more vulnerable. I am on a disability pension and my companion works part-time for a wage that is less than the pension. We have no security for the future. It's pretty scary.

But, it seems nothing much more needs to be done right now except try to enjoy the visit of my mum and friend from next Tuesday, as much as I can. I will try to do that. What a shame this event has happened just before their arrival, which has been planned and looked forward to for over a year.

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

@Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long and self indulgent rave

Re: A long and self indulgent rave

@Former-Member

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