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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I like Taureans my mum is a Taurean and one of my serious bfs was a Taurus :). I dont like to settle with one person. I couldnt stand to be with a partner at all now I think I am too independent. I can be unpredictable if I feel I am being closed in. I value my freedom immensely Walk on people's toes accidently never mean any harm though. Stand up for my family :).

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Snowie same to you sweet Snowie 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

off to have a much needed shower 😮

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I love your description @Bunniekins.

@Mazarita @PeppiPatty and @Bunniekins I was reading back and wanted to comment on some of the chat. I too struggled for ages with the 'Hi, How are you?, What do you do?' automatic questioning by almost all new people. Years ago I would say 'I do lunch most days'! These days I'm less flippant and tend to say 'I'm retired due to health problems but was a massage therapist for a very long time' and either they engage with that or not. I find it helpful to flip it back at them, ask them what they are interested in rather than what they do. But I get into a longer conversation quite rarely these days. If that happens I can say I was a disability carer both at home and at work and that often prompts questions about my adult child which leads into a discussion about language as I use their (singular) pronouns. (Transgender but neither male nor female identification I almost never explain my health challenges. I don't like to have disclosure about bipolar with most people. I was recently challenged by a visitor having been told already by my sil's brother. It was none of his business and totally unnecessary for him to know. I asked my sil to talk to her brother about it. I was pretty pissed off about it. If people know already it colours the way they interact with me and I feel stigmatised.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins it's interesting how we tend to bond with people of one particular sign. I've had a few relationships with cancerians and a couple with geminis. My Dad was taurus too but we clashed terribly for most of my formative years. He was very dominating and sometimes violent. My mum is a leo and we've an interesting relationship - I see her as a bit of a performer in relationships, but the main thing I've noticed about leos @Mazarita is that they often have an art or craft that they take out to the world. Does that sound familiar?

I have an astrology calendar and sometimes follow the moon phases to see what sort of activities work well at that time - like jobs in the garden. I believe it works too, but I don't do it very often at the moment.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Yes two Taureans are not meant to work well and I believe strongly that male Taureans are very very different from females. My mothers friends all female are Taurean with one december saggy (I am a november saggy).

All my children are either water or eath. I wanted them under those signs as fire signs can be such a handful growing up I decided before they were born I couldnt stand a fire sign teenager lol.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita how are you today?

@Bunniekins It's interesting stuff isn't it. Well done you for planning your pregnancies that way. I didn't and my adult child is scorpio - very challenging for me at times.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone. On mobile again, tagging everyone is too hard but great to see you all this morning. I dropped out of the chat with @CheerBear because I spontaneously fell asleep in this armchair for a couple of hours, needed it.

@eth, I am Aquarius ascendant and Taurus moon!

@Snowie, good to see you around today too. 🙂

Hope the day is unfolding well for all. ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad you had some sleep @Mazarita ☺

I'm going to make myself get up and do some offline stuff so I'm putting myself on a forum ban until this evening now I think.

Hope you all have a Sunday that has feel goods in it @Mazarita @eth @Bunniekins @outlander @Snowie @Shaz51... and everyone

💕

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear a forum ban :O!!!!

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