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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Snap again, @CheerBear. That time we were 13 seconds apart in our posting. Have a lovely evening, always good to catch up, especially in real time.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita, @CheerBear, I am off to bed now

thank you for he updatemy scotirish sister @Mazarita xxxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nightie night, @Shaz51. Sleep well, scotirish sister.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

you too @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all @Mazarita @CheerBear @eth @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @Maggie

My long rave.

How are you? It's getting late tonight but I want to get this assignment done. I have no idea why I get this stress on myself but it helps little Buddha (husband) because he reads what I write and if he is able to he can contribute.

As well as being a carer, I feel that I'm always addressing my own mental health. Which means I'm self-caring better. When people see little Buddha and comment on what I 'should do,' ( my neighbor tells me continuously that I'm babying him because I drive him everywhere and I should just ignore him.........) He gives me instructions and gets 'short easily and they tell me to walk away or the new one: stop letting him sleep.....

I usually say nothing or smile....now I say, I'm his full-time carer but he takes better care of me and that's it....

but why should we/me need to explain anything?

I went on my first real holiday for 10 days and back now. It's nice to be home. It's very nice to be with him. I wouldn't swap for anything.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @PeppiPatty, glad to hear you enjoying home. 🙂

I often feel the need to explain myself in relation to my life and health issues. I often also feel embarrassed after trying to explain. I do it as much to myself as other people doing it to me. Particularly I find it hard to know how to respond when people ask me what I do. That's when I feel the need to explain. I like what you said: why should we have to explain?

I wonder what your assignment is. I imagine there might be rewards for you in doing that, and also totally get the feeling of 'why do I put myself through this stress?'

So good that you went on holiday. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lol...... @Mazarita you said it so correct....

yeah, 'why should we explain? " When I went over East, well, one of my brothers is a performance artist and there was no reason why I needed to say anything around his friends,.......I read and it was 4 days of winding down. My brother was triggered seeing me, there was stuff we needed to settle between us......he didn't stop talking about money.

My brother in Sydney, well, he is different. He's been with his wife since he was 22 years old, they are 55 now and they still hold hands when they walk down the street. when I came home, I drove to his Dad's to pick up my darling husband and got home and start this assignment. It's called open university 'Tertiary Studies,' to relearn how to write assignments. It's finishing Monday night at 11pm and then I start my first class on Bachelor of Behavioural Studies. As Little Buddha says, he has behavior and he has studies so we should do fine.

His sleeping is pretty much all the time now. He's starting to lose weight too...probably because he's trying not to eat so many lollies.....

How are you @Mazarita ? I think about you ......xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hi Maz I hate that 'What do you do?'. I am like 'I have an mi and care for my son .... you can see the light go out of their eyes.... mind you I really dont care either one way or another. It is my life I do what I want.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@PeppiPatty Hi PeppiPatty seems like ages since we have talked. Hoping you have been wellish. I agree with everything that you have said sometimes when 'they' give me that face I feel like simply saying 'up your b*m!' and leaving the questioning at that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Hey Maz how did it go at the pdoc today? Did you get your meds sorted?

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