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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 I think you live in Atlantis Shaz51 🙂 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Atlantis @Bunniekins

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 I am great thank you Shaz51 my son is heading off soon to be for a bit with his dad which will be great for him and me. I have been meaning to ask (I may have missed it in previous posts) but how is Mr Shaz's skin cancer? has it been treated yet?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins you asked --how is Mr Shaz's skin cancer? has it been treated yet?

some have been frozen /burntoff , others were treated by cream ,so good for now , he has a few more but he is not seeing the doctor yet

soo @Bunniekins, what R and R you doing this afternoon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Yes R and R is right. I will be chilling on the boards tonight 🙂 and watching my favourite show father brown. Looking forward to it too. Oh and of course talking to my daughter online. She is doing well 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 You know what it is so funny Shaz51 when I first came on the boards it was a way of stopping me from roaming the streets at night because I was so sick. Now I can safely stay in my house by myself and feel calm and at peace without a worry 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Now I can safely stay in my house by myself and feel calm and at peace without a worry -- soo good @Bunniekins

ohhh yes Father Brown

that is so good that your daughter is doing well , It is good seeing our children/ step children in my case doing well

We have one S3 that is not doing soo well at the moment , trying to get him to move up here and live with us

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Sorry to hear about S3 not doing well ... you are very loving to open your house to him some parents just wouldnt do it regardless of how badly the son or daughter were doing. I hope he takes you up on your kind offer.

Yes I love Father Brown it is such escapism ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Bunniekins, @Mazarita, @eth, @CheerBear, @Appleblossom

just come home from a surprised afternoon tea with my mum , 2 aunties and 2 uncles and us xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone, just a drop in message, no tags. Shaz, great that you had the nice surprise get together. Greenpea, so good to hear how much the forum has helped you, as it has me. Eth, great that you too have had a social day. I am at my friend's place on mobile, alone out the back as night has fallen with gentle rain. The others are watching TV inside. But I'm barely into that so here I am. Went well the psychiatrist today, more about that later. Hope the evening is peaceful for all. ox

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