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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just read your post on another thread @Mazarita sending you my strongest hearfelt wishes for peace.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. Yes, there are things I can't speak about. I don't have complete confidence in the privacy of anything these days, so choose not to discuss these matters that worry me. It's probably catastrophic thinking on my part, but there is a real risk bad things could happen if the wrong people read me describing the problems here. I wish I could discuss these things with you though, but it's a public forum. I also guess that many of us have issues we don't or can't discuss. Seems to be part and parcel of being an adult really.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just know that I care and I accept you as you are @Mazarita. Sometimes anonymity here isn't enough to feel able to share something. Glad that you have C's support.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Unfortunately, C doesn't really get my distress about these matters. He's also involved so I am careful even with him about what I share. I also don't talk about these matters with my psychiatrist or psychologist for the same reasons of incomplete privacy. Your psych's notes being obtained for the ndis hearing just confirms my sense of this.Other things I was referring to in that post are to do with my addictive nature. When I rid myself of one addiction, it shows up in something else. I despair of ever being free of this, but it's okay. I still have good things in my life, even if compromised by other things. @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I do understand about the nature of addictions @Mazarita. Someone I went to NA with years ago said you don't stop being addictive, but rather exchange unhealthy addictions for less harmful ones, like hot chocolates. As you know I'm hooked on ciggies, and was hooked on something else for many years, so I'll never judge you about that side of things.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Re telling psych dr's - If I had something like that I think I trust my current psychologist enough to ask her not to write anything about the matter, but I understand that you don't feel you can do this.

Sorry to hear you can't be open with C either about it. Very. But glad to hear you can see positives in your life too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your acceptance, @eth. I know you would accept these things if I could speak about them more openly. We have a good trust it seems to me. There is addiction and then there's this other heavy thing that effects my life in significant ways. But, enough of that anyway. Do you have anything planned for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No plans yet @Mazarita. Will probably spend some time sorting what I want to take away. And I just was told that sils brother and his friend are passing through again around lunch time so not sure if I'll be invited to go out for lunch or not.

When's your appointment?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon appointment so no rush to get going, @eth. Just tidied the kitchen between posts and put on the dishwasher. Next challenge is to get in the shower and get dressed, but still plenty of time for that. Hope you get a lunch invite.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sorry phone call @Mazarita

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