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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom, the reflux was shocking, thankfully an unusual occurrence. Yes, I think it was because I went to bed straight after eating, the horizontal position no good for digestion. I too like movies in other language, mainly because they are often more interesting than movies and shows from the ubiquitous USA.

@Teej, great to hear you had a good night with the adult children, that you got a good chance to speak to them in shifts. What did you cook? Cool that they liked it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Teej Sometimes writing has the double check, make it perfect effect ...

but I gave that up a long time ago ...lol

Got chatted by 2 blokes on the train, coming back from choir.... one gave a card etc .. the other is a nice guy who has sometimes sung in same choir ...

Got court in the morning with my son ... the justice system....hhhmmm

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh good luck with court tomorrow @Appleblossom. 🤞🍀

Its great that you talk to lots of people on public transport. I would chicken out. I am ok to talk if someone starts the conversation but struggle to start them.

I am on a Jamie Oliver kick @Mazarita with cooking. This week I’ve cooked two of his recipes. This was tortillas with chicken, rice, beans, char grilled capsicum and onion, feta and a really yummy coriander and chilli sauce. Not something that I thought would go down so well by the boys but they all loved it. I’m not great in the kitchen so chalking up a win like that is rare.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have you got much on tomorrow @Mazarita? My day is pretty basic. Home all day and night by myself so lots of space to breathe.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom, very best wishes with court tomorrow. I too like reading about your public transport sociality, though this time it sounds like you knew these fellows?

@Teej, those tortillas sounds yum. I love anything coriander. Awesome that you had a cooking win. Do you have anything on the agenda for tomorrow?

I have art group in the middle of the day. Hopefully I will get to bed at some point before too long so I don't just sleep through it. I've been sleeping vast chunks of time over recent days.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha, @Teej, I responded to your first message, then got the second one.

Yes, nothing here but art group. It's been a blank week so far. But I have psychologist on Thursday, which will be good. I love seeing her but only get to do it about once a month, since I'm spacing out my 10 visits over the year.

A day and a night all to myself tends to get me in trouble. Good that you see it as breathing space.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too with coriander @Mazarita. We’ve been buying two or three bunches a week over summer, it’s still around cheap here so I’m buying and cooking with it. With the cold weather it won’t be at the farmers markets for long though.

I hope you get to art group tomorrow Maz. It seems so hard to get sleep to an acceptable level at appropriate times of the day. I missed my group this morning cos I was a sleep deprived mess. I’ll let you try again for sleep. I should too. Nice to chat 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Teej, thanks for the little chat. Yes, it's probably a good time to move towards sleep again.

I may be still around for a little bit, @Appleblossom, if you are still feeling chatty.

Otherwise, sleep well and catch up with you both again soon, I hope. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. I hope a good sound sleep finds you soon.

Night @Appleblossom. Wishing you all the best for tomorrow.

💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

One I vaguely knew, he sings in another choir but it seems we rehearse on same night and catch same train..

After marriage I isolated a lot and am not used to the friendly approach of a male.

The other happened due to a train mess up, at least I am letting that feeling of being an inhuman alien drop away from me.

Its taken a long time, but feels good to just take it in small steps.

But I also was turned on angle away from him while talking and when I left I realised I had tore muscle in my upper arm ... so must not be that comfortable yet .... letting life be organic tho ... love coriander

Better try and sleep. Tomorrow is supposed to be another roll over ... they seem to put it off, but like to see that they show up for the ritual.

Loved talking Ladies. @Mazarita @Teej

Night.

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