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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita There is a tiny bit of money with his carers set aside for behaviour therapy which I dont think has ever been used !?! I will discuss it with the carers today I mean it is there why are they not using it. This is very commonn with autistic people to have these outbursts but he is a big guy and I get scared and I cannot get over it everytime it happens I get a flashback of what occured when he was really off the rails it is like reliving it, over and over again.

On a bright note have I ever told you how much I like your avatar it always reminds me of some crazy siler afro 🙂 makes me smile when I see it xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like you've thought through taking some further action on it, which also sounds like it's really needed, @Bunniekins. Though I also am aware of rage outbursts with people on the autism spectrum. It must be so tough for you. How old is he? I saw that he is 7 foot tall. I too would find that very intimidating when he was in an angry state. Feel free to talk about what occurred when he really lost it, if it would help.

Otherwise, we can lighten it up a bit to help you calm down. Thanks for liking my avatar. I chose it cos it's pretty and suggests a wish and a hope.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I would like to change the topic. "Enough bad stuff ... tell me what do you have on today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No worries, @Bunniekins. Except that I have nothing planned today, lol. What about you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita well then let me tell you the b eautiful things about my son he is warm, loves animals, loves his family. He is intelligent in his own way. He has a funny sense of humour which comes out when you least expect it. I love my son:) He is 24 25 in June. This is why I have to get all this negetivity that he has towards himself away so that he will be happy 🙂

He wants to see his sister so we will go visit her today and he will then take a walk to the shops.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well, it's clear that you love him, @Bunniekins. I know what it's like to have someone who is a bit 'jekyll and hyde' in the house. My dad, who I still love enormously, he's passed away now. He had the most wonderful qualities sometimes. At others, very frightening. I inherited some of that from him, the only thing that has really helped it is anti-psychotics. I hope your son can find a way out of his darkness, and be a happier human for it.

Sounds good that you will be getting out of the house to visit his sister today. She is with her father at the moment, is that right?

On a lighter notes, any knitting lately?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita she is in a private hospital and is doing well which is great and will be there for another week. It is a bit like a hotel I wouldnt mind being there myself :). So different from the public is is ridiculous.

I havent done any knitting for awhile ... the last thing I knitted was a finger knitted scarf for my mother for mothers day, but I was rummaging around my cupboard and I found a dark blue scarf which I had bought years ago and wore it yesterday. It is beautiful and warm. I really have to start doing some knitting when I can settle myself down a bit. Maybe I will try today.

Thanks for talking with me Maz I might go grab a coffee and sit quietly for awhile. I feel exhausted. You are a kind lady.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, no worries. Glad I could be here for a bit of company at a tough time. Hope you can get some sleep sometime today too. Nightie night, GP. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Night Maz xxx:)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth @Mazarita @Bunniekins

@Bunniekins sending extra hugs. I hope things have settled down and you've managed to get some sleep ❤
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