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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins thanks for your kind words here and on the other thread. I'm feeling jittery just doing a rough version - still have to calculate car costs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth yes I can imagine it is making your feel extremely vulnerable ... don't forget we are here day and night someone will be here.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thankyou @Bunniekins. Just finished my calculations and it's official, I am in the red fortnightly.

So sorry to hear your daughter's in hospital (on another thread). Makes my raving seem selfish. I really feel for you and admire your strength.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth, @CheerBear, @outlander, @Sophia1, @Bunniekins and anyone else who comes through here,

Just woke but had more sleep than usual last night, including longer unbroken chunks of it. Happy about that, though I still feel like being in bed, lol.

How is everyone travelling this morning? May it be a rewarding Sunday. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita glad to hear you had more sleep. Mine was very broken and I lay there with numbers going round in my head this morning. Had to do a budget to give to the solicitor to prove I can't afford enough psychology appointments.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I guess it's not a complete surprise that the expense might be setting you backwards. Sounds like there'll be no trouble convincing them that this is not something you can afford.

I have something that is a drain on my finances too, as well as retreating savings because of rental increases and general cost of living increases. It's a worry.

It's understandable that the NDIS might become all consuming at this stage of proceedings. I hope you sleep better tonight. Would it help to try to put mind on something else near bedtime?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Sweetheart of all people you are not selfish! What you are doing takes courage and in many ways you are doing it for us all. If it works for you it could benefit many of us 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Good morning Maz wishing your a wonderfully beautiful sunny day 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Lets share the worry @Mazarita. I've been avoiding doing a budget - I guessed I was going backwards but hadn't calculated it. And that's not including social costs (cafe or movies), travel (necessary respite for bro and sil at least in part), or occasional take-aways or contribution to the big house sharing e.g. bathroom cleaning, loo paper, wine ............. so really I'm going backwards more than I showed in the budget calculations. Will have to curb as much as possible. The only indulgence was I added tobacco cost to grocery cost.

And our savings is our only safety net against needing hospital or any sort of accident or increased health needs.

I do watch telly before bed but last night there was nothing of interest, the wedding being on almost every chanel. I couldn't concentrate enough to read a book.

Thanks for your understanding @Mazarita and @Bunniekins. Usually being on the forums takes my mind off s%&t or at least I get it out of my head by talking about it, but not as much lately. Seriously looking forward to the end of the week whichever way it goes.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I avoid doing a budget too. I will just be faced with impossible changes if I do. I have cut back on ebay purchases though. And I don't go to cafes for coffee, very rarely. Not so many op shop visits. My trip down south also sets me back a chunk of money every year or two. If mum comes up here next year and I don't go there, I will end up spending money on her trip anyway. Tobacco is a drain. I recently bought a vape pen to try to give up. One of many attempts. Then dropped it, and it can't be used now due to risk of explosion. Dangerous to keep using them, someone overseas died as a result just recently. Cost over $70 and got about two weeks use out of it.

Keep talking as much as you need. Maybe our mutual worries will somehow cancel each other out. ox

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