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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I texted him - he's in a workshop so might not answer. I think I've seen the guy once before and he was really cranky that day at my brother (plus he's about 6'5") so I didn't want to approach him. That's if it's even him. Seems to have gone but could come back. I went over after he left and just as well. He left the gate open so the dog could have gotten out. Bro owns this house and the one next door which we have our vegie garden behind. The other side of next door is a commune with all sorts of people who come and go. There are gates between the 3 properties that aren't locked and we've had wanderers including a burglar once by that route. That sort of thing being possible, especially if they know bro is away, now has me on high alert. I know the dog will let me know if anyone comes into our yard but it doesn't make me feel any safer. I'll be locked in here early this evening with the dog inside too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Maybe contact sil too? @eth You might feel better at least being in contact with one of them...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Bro and sil are both at the workshop but I think it finishes soon. They will get back to me I'm sure, just a question of when. I'm breathing deeply to try to calm down but I think I'll lock up and bring the dog in earlier than usual. Trying to tell myself it's ok. If I really need to I have numbers for a few of sil and bro's friends I can use. Probably nothing but when I'm here alone it's easy for anxiety to surge.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope they get back to you soon, @eth. Good idea to bring the dog in earlier. I'd be in lockup too, I think. One of the reasons I didn't sleep last night, except for some time in the armchair, is because I'm feeling hypervigilant overnight here, as I did too at my friend's place the night before last. So I understand how there can be an irrational edge to things, especially when alone. It's reassuring that the dog is with you. Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear you're feeling hypervigilant too @Mazarita. It's not fun is it. Hugs to you too. Our dog has a habit of barking at every bird and even dragonflies and every time any sort of plane goes overhead. So I'm checking every time he makes a sound now. I've just fed him an hour early and will bring him inside soon. So much for coping better than I used to when bro and sil are away.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, it's an unusual thing though with someone taking something from the yard. Understandable that it might rattle you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for understanding and being here @Mazarita. I'm settling a bit now, with the help of a G&T I decided to use as a pacifier. And support. I'll only have the one tho' coz I want to remain reasonably alert.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, phone call from my mum, checking in that I'm ok. She knows I've been on a bit of a rollercoaster with this med change. Will talk to her tomorrow too, for mothers day. She was offering to be there on the phone anytime of the day or night if I need someone to speak to. I probably won't wake her though, even though, like me, she often is up at late hours too, even now at her age.

G and T sounds good. I'm about to have a glass of riesling.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita bro just got back to me and he knew who it was. So that's good. I wish I'd known in advance the guy would be coming but that's communal living for you. Operates on a trust basis, and I'm not good at that at the best of times. Or recognising people I've only met in passing. It wasn't the guy I thought it was. Some sort of lesson for me perhaps.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Really nice that you have that sort of connection with your Mum at the moment @Mazarita. My mum and I mostly communicate on facebook of late. She doesn't like long phone chats (which I prefer). She's in the habit of telling me about her communication problems with my sister (who lives in the same city as her) and today I told her I'm over that. Not something I can do anything about. And I tend to believe my sister's take on it more than Mum's. Sis is very busy with her cafe business and only really has one day a week off, always rings Mum then. Mum is retired but complains that she's always busy when sis rings. I suggested that they negotiate a regular time and Mum heckled. So I'll try to ring her tomorrow anyway but don't expect to have much of a chat with her.

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