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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, a relief to have that $100 dollars in your hand now! Good that they didn't just fob you off and took the time to check security footage and all. Good business practises there. Anything else happening for you today? Either way, I hope it's a good one for you. Sounds like it's started pretty well getting that cash.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I'm really glad to hear your friend is coming through for you. Hoping your headache and sinuses settle down this morning.

Mostly a home day for me but bro is taking me to look at getting a new phone this afternoon. An iphone - I've had a samsung for several years but there are some things I can't do on it like use the Shebah app to book transport. The GPS seems to be dicky on it and I can't get it to locate the correct pick-up address. Plus heaps of functions I've never known how to use. Bro and sil both have iphones so they will be a lot of help with it. But still I'm anxious about the change over. I can easily find things to be anxious about and that's the main one today.

I also need to do the rest of my bookings for my trip today. @Sophia1 I'm not going for another 3 weeks. I booked the first flight yesterday as I had to get on a flight bro was already booked for and didn't want to miss getting a seat on it.

Other than that just sorting out some admin type stuff re health records.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @eth. I understand your anxiety about changing from android to iphone. I would be uneasy about that too. We get used to one system or the other and it's a bit like changing from PC to Mac. Do-able but not without some feelings of helplessness at the start. But it's great that bro and sil have them already and will be able to help you out in the learning process. It probably won't take long to learn. I usually just need to spend some intensive time with a new device, trying out different things, exploring its functions. And then it rapidly becomes second nature. Hope it works that way for you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I'm hoping it will be like that for me too. In the past I've been so nervous that I've avoided all but basic functions (calls, texts, clock) for very long periods of time. Plus my current provider has stuff all regional/rural coverage. Going with a major company this time so I've got signal places like the farm.

It will be really good to have bro and sil able to show me stuff. Also when I'm that nervous my memory isn't good, so I can be shown how to do something but still not know how the next time I try to do it. Hoping I can get used to it before I go on my trip.

Bro and sil are going away tomorrow til sun night so if it takes 24hrs to activate the sim card I will delay getting the phone til bro is around for a few days. I'm facing a solitary weekend too so maybe we can support each other to get through it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a good plan to delay getting the phone until bro is around for a few days, @eth. Yes, we can support each other over the solitary weekend. That way it won't be so solitary.

I've had a mad appetite over the past day or so. It's only a few hours since I had breakfast but I am craving instant noodles with cheese to a mad extent. So they are on the stove. Will be back in a tic eating them.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Thanks Maz @Zoe7 has done a fabulous job as always hasnt she :D. Hope you are doing better today. Love Seinfeld too 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins.

Yes, @Zoe7 has indeed outdone herself on your latest costume!

Any plans for you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @eth

subconsiously processing your leaving already @eth...a clear example of what i touched on the other day...

having said that my overall feeling for you is joy...

I believe that this has come about for a reason...the timing is incredible..

this is your journey ....you are taking charge..doing very well....preparing...thinking...planning so much that you probably are not even aware of...you have done this...

I think that once all booked...stepping back...taking a big breath...allowing yourself to cherish the lead up to your trip is going to be so beneficial for you.

the other issue you have done as much as you can ....that has to run it's course now...as my psychiatrst says to me....when I tell him that I do not understand why I have so many problems with the medical world...call centres...so many organisations...I stand up for myself and ensure now that I am listened to and respected...

psychiatrist commends me for this...I ask him why is it still continuing if I am doing this so well...what else can I do? His response...learn your limitations ...I shall be writing more about this in living with ourselves thread..

I have an iphone...easiest of the lot to follow...I loathe technology....if I can understand the iphone...you can.. a suggestion don't go for the latest...I have the iphone 6 which is far less complicated...does less of course...look at what you need from your phone not the sales approach of what is the latest out...I am sure that you know this already and your brother too...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Well I have already been out for coffee with my daughter and am waiting for a huge grocery delivery so I can snack into some much needed chockies :P. The day is crisp and a bit hazy but that is okay. My grumpy mother is on the war path again and it is kind of freaking me out a bit ... deep breaths just dont let her grumpyness get to me ....

How about you? Have you been outside or will it be a comfy day inside today 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a good start to the day, @Bunniekins, minus the mother on the warpath. You have your chockies coming, I just ate my instant noodles with cheese.

I've been outside to my courtyard, GP, and will be going to my friend's place this afternoon. After that I will probably be doing a circuitous route on the buses home, so that will be a bit of an expedition out in the world. Looks like it's shaping up to be a pretty good day really.

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