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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well just got msg saying benefits canceled for not attending appointment with jobsearch. Rang them, querying. I am not registered with them and appointment was cancelled. No one bothered to tell me. They did however tell me to attend the cancelled appointment . Also getting msgs saying have ph appointments and then they don’t ring. They are just hopeless

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

How frustrating for you @TAB Hope you get them sorted soon.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes me too. Am just going to sit tight for awhile and see what they come up with next @eth .. just got a text from centrelink saying I’m cut off after other one from ‘service provider’ but have been told to ignore it already

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'd be checking my bank account and ringing c'link for confirmation that you can ignore it @TAB. And get a receipt number for your call to them so it's on the record what they tell you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I'm wondering how you're going tonight. I've noticed you've been quiet today and hope you are ok.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, thanks for checking in with me. It's been a crazy day of sleeping mostly. Went to bed last night about 10pm. Woke for the last time today at 2.30pm. So foggy in the head. Unable to find the energy to do anything, even on the computer. Feel a bit better now that night has fallen. Went to bed in my clothes last night. Haven't had a shower for about 9 days. Not doing so great really. I think it's the higher dose of mood stabilising medication putting me in a sleep fog. Hoping tomorrow is better. It's both my friend's birthday and 15 years of C and I living together. We are going to her place for a celebration. Hope your outing tomorrow goes really well too. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear what you've been experiencing @Mazarita. I totally get sleeping in clothes and not showering - I do/don't do those things too. All the time. Glad to hear you're feeling a little better now. I hope tomorrow is better for you too and that the long sleep doesn't mean you can't sleep tonight. Congratulations on your 15 year anniversary - it's quite an achievement. I love that you have such a strong connection and deep understanding between you. I imagine a real sense of trust between you, which I think is the most important element in any companionship/relationship. And respect and acceptance too. Well done

I've been really depressed today too - lay on the bed staring into space for quite a while this afternoon not even snoozing.

Had a text chat with J from Darwin days last night. The first time I've heard from him since March last year. Needless to say it took for him to be single again to get in touch and say he appreciated the way we were compared to his relationship since I left involving a lot of jealousy on her part. But I know there's another side to the story. I'm glad I'm far enough away not to be tempted again. He never comits to a relationship and then wonders why it doesn't work out!!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, went to bed again after my last post. Thanks for your reply. Sorry I haven't been around to support you today. Just too wrecked. Thanks too for your congrats to C and I. It is wonderful that we have shared each other's lives so long now.

Hard that you didn't even get the relief of sleep when you lay on the bed today. I know that feeling of staring into space for extended amounts of time, know it too well really. I hope that eases for you very quickly.

How amazing that J contacted you. There was good in your relationship, it seemed at the time. But not good in it too, with his fear of commitment and how you always seemed to be there for him but not so much vice versa. I'm glad you are not tempted again too. Sometimes it takes real distance to avoid that. Hope there was some good feeling from him contacting you nonetheless.

I'll be going back to bed again soon, hoping to wake up in a better state for the celebration day, or at least feel better by tomorrow night! At the moment, I feel vaguely nauseous and still floppy, as I've been all day. Glad to have the energy to write to you now though.

Hugs for everything that's happening around you at present. ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Mazarita @eth and all.

Hoping today is a really good one for you Mazarita. Congratulations on 15 years ☺

Thinking of you @eth and sending lots of (quiet) support.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning everyone. Hello @CheerBear. I hope you're travelling ok and today brings some joy. I need to get off my computer and into rl as I have a lot on this weekend. I will be back later

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