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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh so nice @Mazarita! It makes me smile to think of you and C doing nice things like that for each other.

It's so peaceful out here I am falling asleep counting my stitches. I don't want to actually fall asleep as I worry it will mess even more with tonights sleep if I do.

You wouldn't be far off leaving for your friend's house Mazarita?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, falling asleep while counting stitches is a good way to get the numbers wrong.

Glad to hear you in peaceful feelings though, CB. Know what you mean about daytime naps and sleeping at night. Probably good idea to stay awake if possible (says she, who naps during the day fairly often).

Friend is coming to pick me up in about an hour, after she has finished at the guvvy dentist.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha I had to put it down @Mazarita. Counting to 26 is too much of a challenge right now! I should probably get up and have a shower or do some washing or something, but that involves the whole getting up thing 😆 It's tricky to work out whether a nap could help sometimes. I think going to bed way overtired can mess with sleep for me also but so can being too awake after having too much of a restful day. Grrr!

Guvvy - haven't heard that one for a while! Will you be there into the evening?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, 26 is a big number when sleepy, lol. I know the feeling about needing a shower and to do some washing. But it's too late for me to do that today now. Another day of neglecting things. On the other hand, mood will be improved by my visit. And it's a chance to get outside too, which I haven't been doing much of lately, especially since the physio advised me not to do my beach walks. There is always tomorrow for the washing and showering (procrastination rides again!)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm trying to look at my neglecting the housework today as a 'prioritising other things' instead, as it sounds maybe you are also @Mazarita. Getting out with a friend is a great thing to do, especially when that sounds like it's been a bit more challenging than usual lately ☺ Outside is good also. Sorry to hear about the beach walks - that's not good.

Our washing will definitely still be there tomorrow. We have an info session thingy on tonight which two are likely to make a little not so fun. I need the energy to be put into that instead of the washing maybe.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good thoughts about prioritising, @CheerBear. Better than thinking the worst of ourselves (procrastination). Yes, for both of us, I think the priorities are clear today. Washing is not desperate here, but is getting there (lucky I have many pairs of undies, lol).

I know what you mean too about not going to bed overtired. It's those 'overtired' states that lead to me having all nighters quite often, I think. So, even if you want a nap today, I don't think it's the worst thing for you.

Yes, I'm really sulking about not walking on the beach. At the same time, it was really getting too painful to do and, according to the physio, walking through pain was probably making things with my legs worse. So stepping back from that for now, hopefully not forever.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I've definitely run out of time for a nap now but I seem to have done a great job staying awake (yay forum chats 😊) and I feel like I've also taken it easy this afternoon after doing stuff this morning, which isn't a bad thing @Mazarita.

Sad for you with the beach but understanding it's probably for the better at least for now, if it was causing things to be worse.

Better do the getting up thing (after a quick hi to a Teej I just spotted). Really nice to catch up with you this afternoon. Hope you enjoy your outing ☺❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yay, glad to have got you through nap phase of the afternoon, @CheerBear. The forum is good for staying awake, gives the brain a lift when it's in a foggy state, I find. Yay too for you taking a relaxing bit of time for yourself too today, CB. Friend should be ringing soon here. Thank you also for the chat today. Always love it when we meet in real time on the forum. Enjoy the rest of the day as much as possible.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Me too re Niq. The former member icon can seem like a slap.

I feel for you in grieving your old way of being with all those wonderful walks on the beach. You helped me remember my past beach times. I hear a weary stoic acceptance. Listen to that advice not to push through the pain.

You seem to have your health team working well and researching and perservering with approaches is wise.

For me .. there is more of the same .. Need to go to bed now.

@CheerBear Hope tomorrow goes well.

ts a lovely idea to think of the dark background as the night sky ..

tho we do not usually see rainbows at night ...

Cheers All @Faith-and-Hope @eth @outlander

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Appleblossom.

I am thinking of N a lot. Concerned for her out on her own at this time. Relieved she has the dogs and a cat. And a psychologist now for some real life support. Also know what a resourceful person she is. At times of difficulty I sometimes think, 'I've made it this far, I can get through the next bit'. Trusting that N can find her strength and endurance as needed through this time in her life.

Thanks for your kind words about my beach walks. You have read me talking about them for a long time, and know how much they have meant to me. It was the first sign of recovery in me that I got out on the beach about four years ago. Prior to that I'd lived close but rarely visited for years due to the limitations of my mental illness at that time. Walking on the beach means something very special to me and I have trod that same path so many times now. Even if it turns out I can't really do it much in the future, if at all, I will always have the embedded memory of those walks. But, as you said, I am still grieving all the same. Stoicism helps get me through some things too, though I have less to be stoic about, it seems to me.

I love the idea of rainbows at night, hadn't seen @CheerBear's avatar in that way until you said it.

Good morning, CB, @eth, @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope and everyone, an early morning good wish for your day.

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