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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good luck @eth ❣️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You will be doing it now, @eth, maybe even finished soon. Can't wait to hear how it went.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hoping you went well @eth. Go you ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Looks like a great company. The ideas people come up with! Go Well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Mazarita @Appleblossom Well I did it. A really friendly female driver who I felt safe with. She was my first and I was her first Shebah booking (she also drives for uber). The best news is she works full-time driving and gave me her phone number. I had back up all the way from my bro (he drove there separately and came back when I wanted to go home). Just as well as we couldn't get the app to work properly on my ph so had to do the bookings with his. It seems like my GPS is lousy (I'm with Southern Ph - a small carrier) and it kept saying I was at different places from where I wanted to be picked up from. Bro has been suggesting I get a new phone and go with Telstra for a few weeks - this might be the decider. If I did I'd also have service up at the farm in case of any emergency. Also my hand tremor kicked in trying to use the app - I hate it. It happens when my anxiety flares up to the max. I'm just so glad for bro having my back with this. It will change my life once we get it working properly. Yes it will cost, but it's worth it to be more independent.

The upshot of it all is that I went to the computer group's open day and enrolled in a couple more short courses for this term. Mission accomplished!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Seriously well done, in lots of ways @eth! Life changing in the good way sounds pretty great ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @CheerBear it feels good too. Just have to work on the technology.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm wouldn't know how to catch uber or anything like it @eth and I don't do so well with unknowns either. I drive though (which was a big deal to get anxiety under control enough to manage) and have had a couple of public transport trips with the kids and when I haven't been able to drive, that have helped me venture a little further. I wouldn't drive comfortably/at all where I didn't know but moving in the way we did kind of made me stretch myself more with it. It makes a difference when we are more able to get out and about I think.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear I couldn't have done it without sil and bro's help. I have a car but haven't driven alone in over a year, even then I only went in about a 5km radius of home up north. Where I am now is a much bigger city, more traffic and necessary services more spread out. Bro has given me a bit of practice in very quiet areas but I still can't face the traffic or doing it alone. Nor public transport. That's why Shebah is so good for me. I don't handle being around unknown males, and also get very fearful in lots of situations (and can disorient).

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so great that you have your brother and sil @eth. I can relate to a lot of the above. I get very scattered in the unknown and I think there's a bit more to it than being kind of absentminded sometimes for me.

Where we moved to is also much busier than where we were. It can easily get too much when I'm not feeling great, but it's got its positives when I'm in the right frame of mind.

Hope you enjoy the mission accomplished feelings for a while ☺ I'm heading off to try and get some house jobs done before the kids get home.
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