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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You are so welcome @Appleblossom It feels strange when people are absent that you are used to having around - although I do completely understand the circumstances and that everyone has their own lives to lead. So how is your life going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am the same old same old .. but in a good way. I did have some flare ups and meds going up, but mostly mood is alright albeit with chemical help.

My son left home and I started doing lots of prep on the walls and then he moved back. Typical for our age and stages. I was depressed for about 5 days and then started the reno. It was been good tho am not very efficient at it ... more like wax on wax off .. slow spiritual tai chi with sandpaper contacting me with the walls.... reflecting on being driven up the proverbial etc etc ..

I would read emails and feel upset that I could not reply and then stopped reading etc ... always trying this and that. Probably like my childhood .. kept have to detach and start again.

It is really lovely to even just read little snippets from people I had felt connected with. Actually it has only been since mid April ... so 3 months since posting.

Zoo and lots of singing going well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That all sounds really positive @Appleblossom I am so happy for you. You do seem to have a sense of calm about you which is so lovely to see

Wow - I can't believe it has already been 3 months - it really doesn't feel that long. But it is so very lovely to have you back and I'm sure there will be many, many others here who feel the same and will be really excited to 'see' you

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hiya Apple ..... 🤗🍎🌸💜💐💕

@Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hiya Bella @Faith-and-Hope

Just read about your boy's wit and family counselling ... we are all a work in progress

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah .... finally moving forward here .... exciting and scary .....

@Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom, welcome back!

I read about your tech problems, how strange and trying. I like how you converted this into a learning experience about the balance of 'being here' and being in the 'really real'. Three months away, it's a good solid break after a couple of years of being on the forum. I too found my months away last year very valuable. But it's great to see you again!

Good to hear too that your singing and work at the zoo are both going well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, anyone else who might be up late,

I've been awake now for two hours after getting less than three hours sleep so far tonight. Feeling very resistant to going back to bed. This is something fairly common to me after middle of the night awakenings. I know I need to move towards just going back to bed anyway. But I'm not doing that yet tonight.

Why don't I want to go back to bed after waking like this? It could be that I so love the quiet I find in the middle of the night, that I can't bear to have to go unconscious again just as the best of the day is here. Yes, that's part of it. I also dread going back to bed and just lying there in an insomniac state, surely one of the minor tortures in life, and something I have experienced way too much over time. There are other factors too but I can't identify them just now.

So here I am for now at least, having a little rave, putting the feelers out to see if anyone's around to respond.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita how are you. I am here if you would like some company

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Ant7, thanks. How are you tonight?

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