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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita 💗 Hope you sleep well ☺

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear @Mazarita @Former-Member lovely to see you about this morning! I'm having big back to reality feelings with work looming. It's been really stressful of late. I'm also worried about both my kids, for various reasons. Trying to look for positives: weather is beautiful and I have my tiny house to come home to. Wishing you well today.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @frog. Feeling you with the back to reality feels 🙁 Sorry to hear you have lots of stressful things going on. Worried about the kids is a hard one.

I really like the idea of looking for the positives. It can be very hard to do sometimes. If I dig deep I can see that a positive for me today will be being able to watch my shows on the tv in the lounge room instead of on a little screen in bed.

Hope you get to enjoy the beautiful weather and that there is good for you in today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all @Mazarita @CheerBear @outlander @Former-Member @frog @Shaz51 @Appleblossom and anyone else around. Sorry to see SunShower appears to have gone for a while. Not sure what happened there but hoping she is ok.

Yesterday I went for a walk with bro and dog and later cooked for all of us again. Little things but more than some days recently. Nothing on the agenda for today yet except aiming to have a shower and wash my hair - well and truly overdue.

Thinking of you with another cyclone looming @Shaz51 I think there's been more this year than I've ever seen in one season. Stay safe x

Hoping all find pleasure some way today. Looking forward to some live chat - I seem to miss it most days at the moment.

Sending healing vibes to @Sophia1 - hoping you'll be able to return soon and that you are getting good care where you are.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, just wondering if you might be around for a chat. We are missing each other for 'real time' chat lately. Partly it's to do with me still sleeping a lot at the moment. Anyway, if you feel like chatting, I'm here for now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello @Mazarita

@eth I think @Former-Member felt triggered negatively by people tagging her to Easter things. I hope she realises it was not meant to upset her and she returns when she is ready.

Quiet days for me for a while, which I will really enjoy.

Cheers All

@Former-Member @frog @CheerBear

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Unbelievable.

I requested no tags related to e -situations (thank you @eth for NOT making my name a tag).

I'm having massive trauma anniversaries which I've mentioned I think in this thread a while back, and elsewhere and made a polite request as detailed as I felt able to do to get the result I expected.

Please understand that even if no one intended to cause pain, it has, this is the very nature of MI and trauma triggering. Being tagged just now by @Appleblossom with the e word here in the message - unbelievable - I have no words. Yes, you're correct Appleblossom, that is exactly the reason and yet you did it knowing that.

Today - this evening - I'm having to have more tests for the apnoea and wow, really didn't need any more stress.

I'm really hurt, really really really hurt that people can't, or won't, seem to understand the affect this can have. I do my best to respect other people's idiosyncracies and I did expect the same courtesy.

You can have your religious festival and do whatever you like with it, I politely asked not to be included.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh dear. This is not a religious thread. Courtesy is tricky when people have different experiences and we all do. I wish I had half some people's gumption about complaining, and speaking out when people tread on my toes or kick me in the belly. I have really been kicked around quite a lot in life, but I am not sorry about my last post on this thread. I am going to stop saying sorry too much.I have been bullied by so many people about what is rude or well mannered. I am over it. I thought there were sufficient bonds established, but I get it some people are very prickly. I never had the luxury of being assertive or prickly over less than life and death situations and so spent my life trying to understand others and trying to be diplomatic.

Hope people are not too upset.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

And I thought sufficient bonds had been established too! The e- word is a religious word by any definition.

Complaining? This week this has been a life and death situation, I'm hanging onto life by a thread.

I was polite, when I ask not to be tagged with anything with the e-word. Thank you to those who have respected my wishes. I'm done.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi Sunshower,

Just wanted to let you know that I don't remember you asking for us not to tag or like your posts during this time. I only happened to see it when you tagged me on another thread some days ago and by then you were already angry. I think I'd only tagged you once in any e posts before then, not being aware of your trouble with it. I do not think I've tagged or liked any of your posts since.

Not everyone sees everybody else's posts and I don't think you did a big group tag post to let everyone know about this matter, which might have brought a different outcome. So I don't see it as entirely fair that we, whose only intention was to be friendly and inclusive, are in receipt of such anger in return.

Also, just to let you know that I believe there are settings in everyone's profile for turning off email notifications altogether. I remember in the early days of the forum I didn't know this and became angry at the flood of notifications I was receiving.

Sorry to hear you have been hurt and struggling during this time. I won't tag or like your posts again until it is clearly okay to do that. Anger when there is no bad intent in the first place hurts too.

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