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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

depends what the cyclone decides to do @Bunniekins, the yard is very green , the grass seeds are up and the weeds are having a ball

but i am thankful that we are dry unless you venture outside , when i did childcare the children loved playing in the rain and filling all my containers up will water and have a water fight

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you with the cyclone building @Shaz51 - hoping you have strong shelter if it gets to your area.

Hi to you too @Bunniekins. Enjoy your quiet day. I'm having one here too. Bro and sil have gone to Sydney for a concert at the opera house so it's just me and the dog here til late tomorrow.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi too to @Faith-and-Hope @Sophia1 @outlander @Mazarita hoping you're all having peaceful and pleasant days too.

It's quiet here today. Wondering what all of you are doing?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The last couple of hours have been pleasant @eth ...... took D2 out for lunch and this place has some live guitar music happening ..... along with a rather sloshed chorus from the booth next door.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth sounds great eth. I was thinking how wonderful it is that you have your bro and sil there as company when you need it but having the cabin out the back gives you space also. You dont see families do that very much anymore it is a shame I think ... families looking after each other.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Afternoon @eth and everyone
Had a shocking night and yesterday was a big day. Todays a little quieter except for dealing with the horses. One of ours sold and was being transported by a trucking company so had to wait for them to come about lunch time and meeting up with another lady today to give her keys back from looking after her horse.
Other than that its been a slowday

Hows things for you?


@Shaz51 my sisters and i use to do that sometimes now we just buy water balloons and use them on hot days.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like fun @Faith-and-Hope Hopefully the next booth is happpily sloshed and not too rowdy.

@Bunniekins Yes I'm very grateful for all they have done for me. Sil has put many hours into helping with NDIS matters and sourcing supports and activities for me. Now they are thinking of doing extensions to the back of the house, moving me into the front of the house as a separate flat, bro taking over the cabin as his office (he works from home when he's not away). So I'd have 4 rooms and a bathroom, not just 1 room with no bathroom of my own. We went to the silent auction recently and it felt so different looking at stuff knowing that the day I have a place to furnish and decorate isn't too far away. They are also going to not renew the lease for the tenants next door so that sil's mother can live there. This will extend our little family haven and mean more company. We're already talking about cooking together and me learning to play bridge with her. They're also going to put a pool in for her. They are amazing. Not rich, but very hard workers, extending their mortgage for all these big changes.

Glad to hear you're having a slow day for a change @outlander

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Very sloshed and very rowdy now @eth ..... think we have been here long enough to move on now .... lol .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth They sound like simply wonderful people. I am so happy that you have that security and feeling of togetherness with your family 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think I'd be moving along too @Faith-and-Hope. Loud licensed venues can trigger me. And crowds of any type. Went to an exhibition opening on Friday night with sil and bro and found the crowd quite overwhelming even tho' they were well behaved. It was a collaboration between lawyers and aboriginal and homeless people they've acted for - intense subject matter to say the least. I would have really liked to read the stories about the installations but couldn't do so with the crowd around me. I stuck to sil like glue. I had told bro I'd stick with him and he said ok before we went but he shot through as soon as we arrived. Sometimes he just doesn't get it, thinks exposure is more appropriate than supporting me. It can feel quite harsh. I'm really glad sil understood.

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