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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander

No wonder you are feeling so drained and upset..

is there anything that you can take for a stomach ulcer?

how old is your pop?

Even if he is unwell nobody is allowed to talk to you in that manner..

I know that this is hard to hear and hard to tell someone whom you clearly love very much..

I have had to do this with my family member..can,t discuss whom anymore..sorry about being mysterious..

treading on eggshells which you have experienced..

then..realising that you don't deserve to be disrespected..

calmly say I will no let you talk to me in that way..if you continue I will have to walk away and check up on you later..I am your carer..granddaughter? Not your punching bag..

protecting your self esteem..

sorry hope not to offend or upset you..

are you ready to sleep now?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry @outlander

need to sleep now..

will you be ok?

I can check on you tomorrow

goodnight xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

On top of that i found out yesterday that my great-grandmother has passed away. Think pops haveing a few troubles ao need to help him through that too.
The only thing they can give atm are antacids and for pain crap otc stuff they barely work anyway but all well.
Thats the problem he doesnt talk to me about it he talks to everyone else the they come up to me and ask all these questions or give me that look and makes me feel like a bad carer.
Hes in his late 70s ans can do most things himself thankfully.
I wont sleep i rarely do lately, thank you for your help. I hope you get some sleep tonight 💕 @Former-Member

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeh ill be ok @Former-Member thank you ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth, @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @outlander, @Former-Member, @Bunniekins, @Shaz51, @frog, @Former-Member, @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope and everyone visiting today. Sending friendly greetings to each of you and kind wishes for the best possible day.

I have been awake since 3am, now it's after 6. It's the first time in this 3 week trip that I've had quiet time to myself without regular interruptions, distractions, engagements or just too much flying around mind and nervous system. The first time I've had the time and headspace to tag friends properly.

I've been reading some posts along the way though and feeling for what's been happening in different situations. Outlander, I hope you are managing to grab sleep whenever you can, or at least rest when possible. Greenpea, so glad that you have recently had time out from caring for your son, even if only a day. Sending ongoing support to you and Eth and anyone else going through the gruelling NDIS processes. Faith, I hope you and family are settling into the current home environment. Mohill, may your specialist doctors contact you very quickly now so that you might be released soon from the difficult waiting period you have been enduring. Frog, still with you in spirit in your struggles though I've been away from home and regular forum contact. Others, I have been reading and wishing well too.

I need to go back to bed soon. Today I have the last two social encounters of my trip. Then some quality time with Mum tonight before leaving for home in the morning. As usual I am feeling anxiety about flying. It will be a great relief when I land, even more when I am home and able to relax for a while. So looking forward to seeing C when he arrives home from work. And feeling some peace after this whirlwind time in this manic city.

Maz

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita ..... 👋💜

Good to hear your news. You have been missed around here, but the news drops have been great, and it’s lovely to know it has all been going well for you, not excluding a few bumps in the path of course.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like your enjoying your trip @Mazarita sounding very busy!
Hope todays a good one for you. I like hearing about how your going when you can.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member I wrote you a long reply to your post yesterday but it disappeared because forum maintenance is happening. Don't know if you'll get this one but I'm thinking of you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Former-Member I found it - hoping you get to see it this time...... I hope you feel a little better this morning. Wonderful that you are so insightful about everything that's going on for you, and that you feel able to get it all out here. Mazarita has told me before that this thread is for anyone to do long raves, not just her. It would be good if you were getting more support - I know it's really hard for you at the moment - but given it is the way it is, you can really focus on yourself and say 'stuff everyone else' (except your son of course). It seems like you are getting multiple lessons in letting go of people and that can be really painful. But it can also create space for a healthy form of self-ish-ness - Putting yourself and your needs first for a while. I am concerned that you are thinking of cancelling your operation as I believe it will result long term in less pain and no more worsening of the situation in your back. Sending you all my wishes for finding peace within as the date approaches.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @Shaz51 @Former-Member @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Bunniekins @frog @Former-Member hoping today goes well for you all. Thanks for the tags and the likes since yesterday morning. I'd love to respond to you all individually but am not really up to it this morning.

@Mazarita enjoy your last day down south. Travel safely home. Looking forward to catching up in real time.

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