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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @eth

yes house back on market...new agent...was taken off

physically I cannot work outside....am unable to do hoovering inside and washing tiled areas...can do rest...

have large linen cupboard area in hall...reaches up to 3 metre ceilings!

husband will have to pull stuff out...we then sort...throw and he will put back on higher shelves..I can do middle and lower..

having open inspection after easter....I will not be here...I also at this stage want to totally forget about it...too much else to deal with re my family and self..

at some stage have to go through storage shed that we pay for...sell stuff...throw stuff...

only have a week left...have reminded him...but I am told that I nag...so he can deal with it now...

I think being in hospital is going to be a good break for us both from each other...stress and tension far too high...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I agree about hospital being a good break for you @Former-Member from everything, not just hubby. You will have to have your own recovery and rehab as your primary focus for a while. Must be so challenging having the house sale looming and what's happening with your son at the same time - You are amazingly strong and caring here considering it all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth and other hair malfunction folk. Regretable perms at 16 must be a thing. My mother aranged a budget job and oh man! Blonde afto, not resembling anything at all what I asked for (gentle curl through the bob). I cried and cried and went to school more self-conscious than ever. Happy not to do 16 again!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We've had wonderful weather the past week @Shaz51 but hot weekend - supposed to be 34 today. There is no normal anymore.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hya @frog I tried blond once too - lasted 3 days - it looked awful on me. I totally agree about never doing 16 again!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @eth

that is exactly what my psychotherapist said to me the other day...that I am not aware how much strength that I have...

twin diagnosis worsened and is avoiding me...I was hoping to spend time together before d-day but does not look like that is going to eventuate...so rather than keep on trying and hoping...I am leaving that one alone...she does not express her feelings very well and has zilch understanding of mental illness...

if we don't talk about it...it might go away....husband not brilliant either but not as closed as twin and mum are..

I feel as though for most of my life everything is on hold...waiting...this is how I feel now...medical people not getting back to me...having to be assertive when I have such little energy left..life on hold with house sale...with surgery...recovery...over it..

am so close to cancelling this blasted surgery...I rang again to ask for indication of what my limitations will be and approximate recovery period...stating that am well aware of providing everything goes to plan...providing not malignant...not more around the spine ....etc etc etc...no response again...so now am going to send email at suggestion of my psychotherapist...he is livid at the way I have had to constantly follow up..

at the moment cannot be bothered...

he is still supporting me with three sessions a week..

has also agreed if pushed out of rehabilitation too soon ...if depression lands with a bang...will look at private psychiatric hospital...have a backup plan...especially if blasted open inspections...

oh sound like a moaning...groaning...grumpy old woman...

have only one friend from up here who has contacted me...the friend with cancer whom I have visited and supported..

all the other so called acquaintances continually ask husband at sport how I am...give her our love...not one phone call...what is it with people do they think that I am contagious...

am sick of husband telling me everytime he goes to sport and comes back with oh yes they all asked after me....he is getting so much support...yes he needs to...he is getting more than I am..

he has gone out today...sheepishly told me that he needed to chase up a couple of things...so off to see his sporty friends...

just as well that he has gone out...we both need our own space and fortunately are aware of that...at the moment he really does need to get away from him....

I am a neurotic...crumbling mess..

no need to respond...I sincerely hope that I do not upset anyone...that would only make me feel so much worse..

this is not just a long rave...this is a rant

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member 💕💕🕊🕊🌷🌷

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Oh mohill rant away. I hope it helps a bit to get it off your shouldners even for a minute to two. Nothing like a good old rant I say 🙂 xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins @outlander @eth

we have to regurgitate literally somewhere...just hate the thought might trigger others

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member That's cauz you are s weetie mohill:) xx

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