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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mazy @Mazarita

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins, @Former-Member, @eth, @Former-Member, @outlander, @Shaz51 and everyone, wow, 10 pages of chat since I posted this morning. Crashing the conversation here to answer @Bunniekins's earlier post...

@Bunniekins, thanks for being glad for my sleep. I've been catching up all day, aside from seeing my psychiatrist in the afternoon. My foot feels close to healed now! So glad it wasn't a fracture, that might have stopped my three weeks away from Thursday. It's a whole program of short films by me that is happening there. No prizes but maybe a little cash from the door charge, and hopefully an audience who don't throw things at the screen (happened once before)!

Thank you again for sharing about your voices. I feel I understand more how it might be. I don't know whether I'd want to believe that after death those same voices might be waiting - it would depend what they said to me. C has a multitude of strangers he meets in his waking dream life. Some of them he repeatedly gets rid of in various ways. He seems to fight a lot in there. But it may be that feeling proactive with them in some way helps him function in regular life somehow. I've sometimes said he is the craziest and sanest person I know.

I am scared of dying. In a way I think it is natural to fear death. I don't know whether there is life after death or not. To me that is a mystery we weren't meant to know, by evidence of us not knowing with any first hand experience or memory. While afraid of death, I also try to embrace as much as possible the natural process of being born, aging and dying. I would like to experience it all as gracefully as possible, though my track record on doing that is not great, lol. After death I will either not know (being no longer living), or I will find out what further mystery there is in store.

Well. I didn't call this thread 'A Long Rave' for nothing!

@Former-Member, just got your hearts. Good to see you too!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so good to see you too Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

And so good to hear your foot is nearly healed! 😄 You'll be able to dance down the isle to the adoring, applauding crowd 🙂

I've just had my phone call & I have a couple of dvds that need to be watched {they have to go back tomorrow}, so I'm heading off now. But I'm soooooooo glad I caught you 1st! 🙂

I to think it's natural to fear death, & although I often feel very tired of living - I know I will be afraid when the time comes.

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I know the feeling of being tired of life, Niqua. Fortunately I only really experience it in shorter durations these days, but at times almost every day. Overall though I was, in a way, much tireder of life at various times when I was younger, as an ongoing feeling. Those were the really hard times of depression. I want to respond soon to you at greater length on your thread. I have been thinking of you. I wrote that poem on the writing thread with you in mind. @Former-Member

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have the feeling of "tired" for life all the time @Mazarita had it for years but lately feel it is worse.Depression is hard ,some days I feel like I'm on the last few days of my life, because of the "can't go on" thoughts.Depression and a life that feeds it does take its toll.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member, sorry you have to go through it. Deep depression makes life so hard. I wish there was something to make it better for you.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

OK today, but it's always there @Mazarita, get so distressed, this morning was a morning person I didn't want to wake up, I know my life is going to get worse, that's what I am continually evaluating. Thanks.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Depression has been a hard spiral to try to drag myself out of, @Former-Member, and I'll never really be out of the woods. I too worry about the future, various things, housing, money, mental and physical health, people I'm close to getting sick and dying, being alone, nuclear war, the works. Meds have done a fair bit to improve things for me at this time, getting the right diagnosis after decades of insufficient treatment, therapy helps too. But the black dog is always somewhere around me too it seems.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita,I see no hope,so I won't take antidepressants,my six years of out if the workforce and failed effort to improve my life,now I'm vulnerable to the world which is destroying m along with the humiliation and lost of dignity.

Even when I was on the "happy pills"yes I was still depressed,and to me they gave false hope.I think that caused more trauma.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

If all of the depression is being caused by 'situational' things, @Former-Member, I can understand how you might be reluctant to take medication that alters brain chemistry, and how you could see your past experiences with meds as even traumatic. Whether meds would be helpful might depend on whether there is a brain chemistry problem there as well (as with me). But it's hard to separate those things out. And there are not always answers. Sometimes attitudes to what is happening in our life can be helped in therapy. But at best we get improvement of symptoms, as far as I can see. I don't believe in complete recovery, based on my experience of life so far.

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