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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thank you @Bunniekins mr shaz is a a bit anxious about tomorrow as he has a ingrown toenail , very red and very sore and has lots of pain in his knee , soo we have a GP appt tomorrow

and I have a breast screen tomorrow

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita ...how are things going with your screening..has it happened yet or still to come? I hope you had a good day
@eth ...i have had mixed experience with phams..i had a great worker but she left and my new worker is really pushy trying to get me to do things im just not capable of so i havent seen her for a couple of months..dont want to
@Former-Member ..yes i do remember you telling me about your sons tuxie...princess sounds cheeky and gorgeous..i love calicos...and as for billy bunter he sounds exactly like my boy ... constantly wanting food...wolfing it down when he gets it...then sleeping it off with the loudest snore...so funny...he melts my heart
@Bunniekins ...i hope your day was ok...are you still knitting...i loved the scarf you posted
catgirl🐾

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

ohhhhhhh @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@catgirl Hi catgirl it was great to see your post earlier it has been so long since I have seen you online. Yes well my mother is turning out to be a grumpy old woman. Nothing pleases her moan, moan, moan but it was great seeing her really. My dad died 18 years ago so I will put up with her moodiness I suppose.

Yes I am still knitting it is such a long story with Dr G. Do you want to hear it that is Dr G and the scarf?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Typical mother @Bunniekins,thats why one reason never had kids, didn't want to stuff my kids up like my mother. Always said if I had any, have to take off. My mother intervened in my relationship with my nieces and siblings, never had the right to tell them their wrongs. Your mother may be need to put in her place.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member

ill join up the 2 convos here instead of flicking between 2 threads and this thread you feel safe on so will talk here.

I like seeing you flit about but not at your own expense so thats ok too. Do you think the other person you told me about you upset? Do you want to give me the name of the thread and ill take a look for you. Im pretty good at upsetting people too sometimes. Please dont blame yourself ok, you can only welcome and share your experiences and its up to others how they use that advice.

I am really sorry to hear about your son, I had no idea he is missing. I really hope things change soon and he contacts you or someone else and with a good outcome. My thoughts and best wishes are with you. Joining that carers group sounds wonderful and I hope you find it helpful and supportive. Good luck with your surgury also- sorry im really out of touch with some of you here, do you mind me asking what your surgury is for?

@Shaz51 good luck with your screening tomorrow, hope all of it goes well for you.. and that mr shaz's appointment for his toe goes well too, hopefully they can solve it on the spot for you both.

Hi everyone @Former-Member@Mazarita@Bunniekins@catgirl

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member I wish you were here I would get you to do it for me lol! gp might sound loud and self assured at times but I am actually quite a shy and timid pea particularly of my mother ....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Sorry I missed the post re the ingrown toe nail .... ouch that hurts like hell. Have you seen Fawlty Towers with Sybill and her ingrown toenail if you can find it online that might cheer Mr Shaz up a bit.

Shaz51 good luck with the breast screening ... dont you hate that machine ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

this will be my first time @Bunniekins xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, amazing how many people have issues with their mother, you'd think it would get easier b t it doesn't, today when my mother cracked crying and I said the Dr wanted to put me in hospital last week and please don't stress me, I wish I got a mother who showed empathy.... I didn't, I got a mother who thought only of herself.
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