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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im leaving in 10 to take pop to an appt then housework. Already been to work @Shaz51 but am tired so not much i really want to do today.
Its 33 here atm suppose to reach 36 about 3pm so will have the kids in the air con as ill have them for the afternoo till 8pm as mum and bf are going out for tonight.

Relaxing sounds good. Have you got the air con on?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No not yet @outlander, later

Oh I have done a few things , going to make lunch soon

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds like a good plan @Shaz51 ❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

yes @Bunniekins

one of my cats does that all of the time when she wants more food...

she has tripped me up a couple of times..

she also tries to get into the bedrooms...she is like a bullet waiting for those doors to be opened.

they are both heavy malters so dont let them on the beds anymore...

do you have pets @Bunniekins?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member Yes I have a furry friend for my son it is a emotional support animal. He loves him to bits.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner but I went out for a few hours. I hope today has been better than yesterday and the kids aren't giving you a hard time this afternoon. I totally understand how confronting and negative the MHCP was for you. And that the group didn't feel right. Hope you find a more suitable group soon.

Hi also to @Mazarita @Bunniekins @Former-Member and @Shaz51.

You've been quiet today @Mazarita I hope you're ok and not down with a migraine.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thats alright @eth
The kids have been ok so far. Its really hot so weve got iceblocks and watching a movie before ordering pizzas and then their showers before taking them back home. Tbh i dont want to see thr new psych tomorrow. Worried about how judgemental and authentic they actually are now. The group ill stick with for a orher 2 weeks then see how i feel after that theres suppose to be new people so maybe itll work out but not to sure
I hope today went well for you with your support worker

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@outlander just go to the new psych(iatrist?) with an open mind but clear about what you are looking for if possible. You do have the right to shop around if you're not happy with them, but you'll never know if you never go. At least that's what I tell myself when I have to start with someone new.

Good plan about the group. I usually try to give something new 3 chances before I decide whether or not to continue. Hopefully it works out for you.

Today was good. I did a pretty massive shop. Stocked up on all sorts of things as there were lots of specials. When I came home my brother called me a food hoarder - so what!! It's because I can't go by myself and never know when the next chance to do it will come.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

this one is a new pschologist @eth ive been to 6 others this one is take number 7 and dont want to change again. they do psychotherapy so will see what happens i suppose. and the group yeh will give 2 more sessions ago but not sure if ill stay after that. im not looking forward to doing yoga next week, may even skip it and jsut go to another session like the week after when its more crafty.

glad you had a good day with a good shop. and yes who cares if your a food hoarder, at least you wont run out for a little bit hey

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have you tried yoga before @outlander? I've done a lot of it over the years and it has real benefits. Especially if it's a good teacher who teaches the breathing as well as the stretches. I know it's not for everyone but I recommend giving it a try if you haven't before. If you're a beginner they should show you how to do things gently at first.

Sorry to hear you've tried so many psychologists. It must be frustrating for you. I'm lucky to have found one who is just right for me. It makes so much difference to life.

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