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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita I understand totally about tearing up in those circumstances. Same thing happens with me. Especially every time there's a conference about NDIS stuff recently, even when it's just the people who are on my side. The more something matters, the more it happens.

No real plans for today but I might type up a reipe my Mum wants - curried lentil and potato pie. And if I can get motivated I'll sort out the big diary that all three of us use to keep track of my appointments and times when the others are unavailable. And if I get that together and still feel motivated I could have another go at word processing my WRAP, It's at least 2 months since I did just the first 2 pages of it and the others would like an electronic copy. I have 3 days before the others get back so there's no rush.

Yesterday afternoon I had more energy than recently so I'm hoping it kicks in again today. Coffee is brewing as I type.

How's the rest of your day looking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wow, have never met anyone who has that same problem with tearing up randomly when chatting with people, @eth. I think it's also an expression of my social anxiety in general. It happens mostly with those I'm especially nervous around, for whatever reason (though often specifically with those in power over me). Makes sense really, even from my childhood experiences of not really being able to feel safe with my parents. But it only started when I began peri-menopause, so maybe hormonal factors too.

Sounds like you have a good chilled day planned. It would be great to get that documentation done. How have you gone with the 17 page feedback form for Phams so far? Could be one of those back burner projects that you do a bit at a time and run away for a while if it gets stressful. I often do my video editing in quick bursts of action like that, interspersed with breaks, if I'm resistant to doing it.

I may still get out and do the big trip to the craft shop today. It is a three and half hour round trip. But otherwise I'll probably get very bored and agitated after all the activity this week. We'll see what happens.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita it turned out that the PHaMs woman gave me 2 copies! It didn't take too long to do and I mentioned the things about the service that frustrate me, then gave it back to her rather than posting it. Wondering if she had a look at it.

With tearing up I think all the reasons you mention are likely factors. My childhood was similar in that way - unsafe but constantly seeking approval (very hard to be acknowledged). Lots of memories right now.

If I were you after the week you've had I wouldn't be pushing myself today. Especially to let the back strain settle down. I seem to recall there was lots of walking involved in getting to the craft shop. Maybe a shorter gentle stroll at the beach is enough?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hmmm, interesting point about the beach walk versus the big trip, @eth. I'd have to decide right now though because it's just gone low tide, and that is the only time I can walk on the beach. And don't feel like doing that yet. Plus, I'm kind of wired and wouldn't know what to do with the rest of my day. The lower back is a problem for about the past year, even when walking on the beach. Just hurts with any activity really, but canes when I bend forward to do dishes, clean the vanity, toilet, pick up stuff from the floor, etc. I want to make a GP appointment for next week to get some medicare-subsidised physiotherapy sessions. I can get five on that scheme, which I think is available if you have chronic illnesses. Have you ever had anything like that?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry for the delay responding @Mazarita. Just replied to an email from my Dad's 2nd wife (now widow) from over a month ago.

Yes I've used the CHCP before, twice. The first time for physio and podiatry, the 2nd time all 5 appointments were claimed by the guy that made my new orthotics. It was good only to have to pay $50 on top of that, but a problem arose when I really needed those appointments for extra psychology.

Have you ever tried arnica cream on sore areas of soft tissue? I think I've mentioned it to you before. It's herbal and works really well. Seeing the GP sounds like a good idea.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, I use fisiocrem, which @Faith-and-Hope recommended (good morning Faith :smileyhappy 🙂 ) It has arnica in it. I do like that stuff a lot, very soothing for temporary relief.

Yes, I will make a long appointment with the GP today (to replace the appointment I missed on Tuesday). I still need to talk to her about my experience with the gastroenterologist and ongoing treatment options there. And some other things too. We'll see how much I can get through in one session, will make another if necessary.

Have you already used your CHCP appointments for your psychologist for this year? Just wondering because you said yesterday you were paying quite a high price to see her at the moment.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

The new MHCP has just kicked in @Mazarita so my appointment this week was the first of my 10 for the year under that plan. $124.50 rebate from medicare so I end up only $50 out of pocket which is much more affordable. They'll last less than half the year but it's better than nothing. And hopefully I'll be able to use the CHCP for another 5 after that (if I don't need them for anything else in the meanwhile).

I find when I have a lot to get thru with the GP it's helpful to take a list with me. Maybe that could work for you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, glad to hear the new sessions are less expensive than you have been paying, at the least. Hoping for you that nothing arises that requires the CHCP appointments for anything other than psychology. It's so good to hear you sounding better this week after your psychology appointment. I know it's part of the process, but I feel sorry on your behalf when you seem especially down after psych sessions.

I have already listed what I'm talking about with GP but may make some more detailed notes before I go. It's a good technique that I've thoroughly learned from you and the forum at this point.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have what I think is tendonitis in my left wrist this morning @Mazarita .... I have it strapped, and was just thinking that I probably need to put Fisiocrem on it .....

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth ... 👋
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