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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope the public speaking goes ok for you @Mazarita. I'd be nervous about it if I were you but it sounds like you are well prepared. I've been following your posts and it sounds like you are doing well despite the sleep issue. I've been pretty down the last week and am watching closely in case it's depression setting in again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again, @eth. Yes, the public speaking is a bit daunting. Will let you know how it goes. Yes, I do feel like I'm going well at the moment. Hoping it lasts this time.

I have noticed you have been less chatty than usual and wondered if depression was setting in. But you know yourself so well, I'm sure you will be taking action as needed.

Take care, friend. ox

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, was just about to walk out the door and suddenly realised I was leaving half an hour early! I guess I am a bit more nervous and excited than I thought! I'm around for a little while longer if you want to chat more.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita, Claire @outlander, @Shaz51 (hope the AB are kicking in & helping), @Faith-and-Hope , @eth , @CheerBear and Everybody 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm still here too @Mazarita. Good morning @Former-Member

I may be going in about 10 min. Sil is not well this morning and delayed going.

Yesterday's meeting with disability advocate and legal aid lawyer re AAT appeal on NDIS decline went fairly well, but heavy going. They want me to write up all the ways my diagnoses have functional impact. Thank goodness I don't have to do it straight away. The lawyer will sent me an outline to work from. I'm so greatful that sil and bro are supporting me with this. There's no way I'd be able to do it alone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Former-Member @Mazarita @eth @outlander ..... anyone else about ..... 👋

💜💕 @eth ..... hope you’re feeling better soon ..... I know you work at keeping an equilibrium ....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, good to hear your meeting went well yesterday, that the lawyer will be sending framework documents to help with writing your part, and especially that bro and sil are so wonderfully supportive. I too am really glad you don't have to write it immediately due to down feelings lately. On the other hand, when feeling down, it might be a good time to identify what the limitations are and express them. Either way, I wish you well, as always. I dread to think what it's going to be like if I should need to access NDIS myself in the future, as I don't know that I will have much support then. But I will cross that bridge if and when I come to it.

Good morning, @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member.

Off out to appointment very shortly now so may not get in another message to you. Sending hugs to anyone who wants one.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning/afternoon everyone @Mazarita@Faith-and-Hope@eth@Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita 🙂

Thank-you for thinking of me in the middle of the night. I'm glad you'd already had some sleep and hope you got more still before getting up and ready for your big day 🙂 I probably did read your post about your sleep disorder (that being part and parcel of bi-polar), but I have to confess I can't recall it with any great detail. I like the peace of the night too, in fact it's the only time I can sleep, so my pattern has to involve sleeping at night . . . all night . . . every night . . . or I start up some pretty unusual behaviors, that are really unpleasant to go through; having 'shadow people' watching my every movement, nothing I do is unseen or unknown. It's like that feeling of 'being watched' coming to life!

I've been part of 'amicable' separated partners before, many of my own partners had previous relationships with children involved. {I hope I'm remembering right} But that your Mum never took another partner is pretty unique, maybe your Parents flourishing affection upon the little dog was their way of trying to make up for not doing so with their child & a way of showing that child that there was definitely love there amidst the troubled stuff too? Please just ignore me if I'm completely off track.

I'm glad your Mum gets regular company & imagine your Auntie must be quite the chatter-box too 🙂 I moved closer to my Parents when my Father broke his hip {the 1st time I think}. I knew they were getting older & had a real sense of 'they wouldn't be here forever' & they were the only Parents I've got! And they did love me, they did try their best for me their whole lives; they may have failed in some ways, but they never stopped trying their best for me 🙂 I was a Personal Carer, that was what I did; so I could help with my Mother & I did ❤️ With my Father it was very sudden, I wasn't there for him; he had been very openly negative towards me during the last years of his life and although I did not give up on him & recognized advanced neuro-biological disorders, I did visit far less frequently and was not a part of his care.

My home is fully insulated, the walls {internal & external} included; I think it's a real bonus and must give Husband number 2 credit where it's due - we built this place ourselves . . . and I don't know how to build 😉 I have a portable evaporating air-cooler, you know the ones you put water in the top {mine is designed to take ice cubes as well, & I did do so many times last Summer :)} & it cools the air that the fan blows out (though I have to use the generator to power it). I also have what I call 'wet curtains' which are sheets/material I hang down from the windows and doors, that I then wet and as the breeze {when there is one ;)} blows through them it is cooled {& I wet the floors which are unsealed concrete, so as the air moves over the floor it is cooled also}. Plus a good ol' foot bath, with a few drops of peppermint & a little 12vt fan pointed straight at it keeping the water cool; & wet neck ties/washers/towels, spray bottles, showers & shade cloth out the back & now an awning out the front . . . AND anything else I can think of that helps 😄 😄 😄

I do notice my body more in Summer, which I think is a bit weird - I thought arthritis was a Winter problem . . . I definitely suffer from more aches & discomfort in Summer. My Father used sheepskins under his back in bed for many, many years - he ever used an electric blanket . . . winter or summer! But then he had this immunity disorder too, probably providing the genetics that descended onto me. I always feel more able to sleep if I have at least the corner of the sheets draped over my hip or waist or somewhere. Once I fall asleep I'm sure I very quickly toss it off 😄

Ok, nothing on the skin, must be an off-skin solution . . . how about a sun-umbrella? Maybe one of those silver ones, designed to reflect the damaging rays of the sun and heat? Sometimes you can get Beach umbrellas from the op-shops {Dam hey, fancy having a reason you have to go to one of those shops! :D} With the reflected sunlight I guess there's not really a lot, apart from moderation of exposure, that I can think of; because I doubt you'd go for my idea of walking down the beach with a big flat wide collar, silver on the bottom to reflect the light back down, dark on the top so as not to reflect it . . . might be a little harder to blend in with a fashion statement like that 😄

Loving the love you send, trying my best to send back love that you love ❤️

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello my beautiful cyber-grandgirl Claire @outlander 🙂

It's Potatoe hour so I'm going to hop off the Forum for now, but it was wonderful to get your Good Morning/Afternoon first

Sending your daily 'granny-love' quota 😄

Niqua

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