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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sitting in a chair (or beanbag), @CheerBear. Simply observing the breath first of all (tends to start slowing it, just doing this). Then, whenever you are ready, start breathing in for four and out for five. Keep bringing mind back to breath whenever it wanders. Simple as that.

But maybe not so simple when there are LF around. Then it would just be take some slow deep breaths whenever you can. Maybe save the seated meditation for when they are in bed. I really find it helps, even if I fall asleep when I do it.

It's a distressing scenario, what you have with the plumbing and b*astard landlord. Reminds me of the time I boarded at a frankly condemnable house in Melbourne. The kitchen flooded up to three inches all over the floor on a regular basis after rain. There was a funny side to it, but it's definitely a pain having these issues, and understandable that you have felt distressed. Take it as easy on you as possible, CB.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello my magical Mazy @Mazarita :),
I like to think of the communications we've had over the months since we met, having strengthened non-physical bonds to where our souls have created physical ones - for me it's Butcher birds & Dandilions, for you it's Seagulls & Mozzies 😄 It's something that's incredibly special in the really real 😉 And now that we've actually seen each other {WOW!} it does feel more real! I have troubles with reality at times, I've had real troubles with it in my past; I have HUGE trust issues {who hasn't?}, so the fact that I can trust & believe that you are real & really my friend - accepting me for good & bad, is something I'm unbelievably grateful for ❤️ You, Claire @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope , @Shaz51 , @CheerBear , and many others, are actually what I use to anchor my reality to!! You all help me through times of unhealthy focus, through to times of unhealthy difficulties in memory recall, Thank-you so much ❤️
Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Niqua, thank you for your friendship that just gets better and better, little by little, the way all really good friendships do, I think.

Big squishy hugs to your lovable self.

@Former-Member

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you so much for understanding that this is distressing @Mazarita.

I pulled out a letter from the missing housing organisation from when my case manager and I formally addressed the issues with the house and the owner. The letter says that the verbal abuse that was directed at us (because of maintainence) was unacceptable, they have zero tolerance to violence and that they'd be terminating the contract with the owner and sourcing us another property which, as we know, didn't happen. Before all of the housing stuff happened, I would have had little problem standing my ground and fighting this if needed, but the past threat of eviction and my experience with being unable to secure any other house here, has me feeling very shaky about this one. That's not something that's wrong in my head, that's something that's wrong with the way the world works sometimes (and that's me already wearing my defensive pants for an appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow - I really annoy myself sometimes 😉 ). Really though, if there was a magic fix for social issues like housing and violence - maybe then we'd find a cure for some mental health ones.

Sorry that was a rave!

I will hold on to that breathing reminder. Even big deep breaths while fish are running around is helpful. I forget that sometimes when everything is fast. I think I might even write it on the back of my hand today so I catch it throughout the day.

You have an amazing ability to calm Mazarita. Thank you ❤

And big loves to you @Former-Member ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear, hugs with coloured balloons and ribbons (and free deep breaths) to your door.

And please rave away here any time! I love seeing raves in here aside from my own!

@Bunniekins and I were just talking the other day about how some of us here on the forum might benefit more from a social worker who could get in and address real life issues for us, even more than psych/iatrists/ologists. The psychs are helpful too but don't always get the real life factors driving stress and distress it seems to me.

Big loves to you too, CB.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi everyone .... 👋 .... just catching up on posts here .....

@CheerBear do you have a basin (as in a large dish) that you can wash up in and tip the water out on the garden for now ? So sorry you have a crappy water leakage issue and a sucky intimidating landlord .....

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Social workers and I tend to do lots better together than psych- people @Mazarita. I spent the majority of my younger life planning to be a psych person, until I realised where lots of our problems stem from or are made bigger/harder/worse. That was when I changed my course (and general direction). Psychs can help make social problems feel more managable maybe, which is my hope.

Waving as I head back out, feeling better for having been here. Thanks again ☺👋

Just before I hit post - maybe the laundry @Faith-and-Hope which I didn't think of (banana brain). Thank you! Hopefully the bath plug fits. You have a great way of helping with practical suggestions. So appreciated ☺ Sending you these too because I have noticed your challenges also ❤❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Niqua @Former-Member

@CheerBearpossible stomach ulcers... and thanks

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @CheerBear, @Mazarita, @outlander, @Faith-and-Hope, , @Former-Member@Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 .... 🤗💕

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