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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, woops, missed your earlier post while I was drafting my later one again.

I do like that song by Bryan Ferry, he was a smooth operator.

No plans at all here today. But I may clean my ensuite. I've been getting pretty good with the domestic chores over the past couple of weeks and feel better for it.

Hope your outing to the shops with son went well and that you both have a lovely chill day at home.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Thanks Maz I hope you have a lovely day too (btw I am always missing posts lol it is a wonder anyone still speaks to me at all :D).

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That would be all of us, missing posts @Bunniekins ..... lol .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Faith-and-Hope Well that is good because I thought it was just me ... and my cognative decline ...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins, always love speaking with the pea.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita 🙂 xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Don’t know about cognitive decline @Bunniekins ..... I just put it down to an arty bohemian brain ...... excuses all manner of things ...... 😏

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member, sensing you around from your 'likes'. I'm here if you'd like to chat. Wondering how you are travelling and sending love.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @Mazarita

thank you...

to be perfectly honest I am a trembling mess...my head is all over the place..

I can't work out which stressful situation I am the most concerned about at the moment..

I was going to reply and then read the very sad situation with a member...another one who has left..

update re my twin ..she received her diagnosis from the many tests...waldrenstrom's disease ...a form of non-hodgkins lymphoma...rare..

she is not in need of any treatment at present and does not need to see her specialist until april....very pleasing news for all of us...I have read the symptoms....no cure ..types of treatment...life span..which of course is exactly what we are not to do...we are both of course holding back this information from mum and our sons...I will need to let them know once the mri results are available..Neurosurgeon has told me has to be cut out regardless...just the need to find out if affecting spine as to the full extent of surgery...I am anxious to know recovery time...I have also told my psychiatrist that I fear this will bring back my depression full blown.,..too many unknowns...so just venting...need to get up and move around.

I know that I need to distract...meditate....everything...but the tears and rage are here..just holding my head up straight seems to use all of the little energy that I have..

I do not want to upset others...or exacerbate their symptoms....I do know that all of you have your own grief...loss....suffering

I don't have any energy for compassion for others at the moment and worry that they will feel that I have let them down...

I think of you all who have been kind and supportive and not judged me...

I wish for you calm and peace...safety and self-love...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, it is such a hard time for you and your family. It is very trying to have to deal with so many unknowns. Feel free to vent any time. I am only glad to be here to support in whatever I can through this awful phase of your life. Tears and rage are understandable. I say rest your head whenever you need to. Please, please don't worry about not having energy to support others now, or that you will be upsetting anyone. This is what the forums are for and you have supported so many over your time here. I know most who know you will be simply wanting to offer support. Calm and peace and self love to you as well.

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